Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’ How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

From
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
three decades till nowadays, people
buy
Wrong verb form
have bought
show examples
ennormious
Correct your spelling
enormous
numbers of cars and
megapolisis
Correct your spelling
megapolises
megapolis
megapolis is
look like 'one huge traffic jam'. In
this
essay I fully agree with
this
statement because one family may acquire four or even five automobiles which means that every citizen has
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
his own
her own
show examples
car but
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
has limits
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
car ownership. One of the possible
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
is governments should promote through advertising the idea that public transport is more convenient and cheaper.
Firstly
, in most cities like Paris or Rome, they have special
hours
called rush
hours
when drivers can not
driver
Replace the word
drive
show examples
because
high
Change preposition
of high
show examples
demand on the streets,
therefore
they just stay and these time zones begin from five pm till 8 pm.
This
means that in big cities
with
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
millions of citizens have rush
hours
24
hours
in 7 days.
For example
, New York is
type
Add an article
a type
the type
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
city that never
sleep
Change the verb form
sleeps
show examples
because it is overcrowded and humans always drive
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somewhere.
Secondly
,
Add an article
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
government should
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
a part of their budget
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
advertising
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
. These campaigns
such
as five advantages
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
using
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
show examples
rather than
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
show examples
auto or how to reduce
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
of transport
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
using trains.
Finally
,
after
this
Fix the agreement mistake
promotion
show examples
promotions
Add a comma
promotions,
show examples
people will start to think about public transportation more and how to use it often.
For instance
, in Japan after
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
Correct your spelling
campaign
campaing
Add a comma
campaing,
show examples
most adults prefer to travel
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
bus or train, even
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
. In conclusion, recently some people
can
Verb problem
have
show examples
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquired
show examples
many automobiles which
provide
Verb problem
cause
show examples
huge traffic jams.
However
,
governments
Change the noun form
government
show examples
actions like advertising can help to deal with these issues.
Submitted by olqa.zvereva01 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, try to incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This can make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is well developed and logically follows from the previous one. Transitions between paragraphs can help to achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Your points could be improved by expanding on them and providing more detailed explanations. This way, your arguments will be clearer and easier to understand.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic and attempts to provide solutions to the issue of car ownership and traffic jams.
coherence cohesion
The examples of cities like New York and the reference to rush hours help illustrate the problem discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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