In a number of counties, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
essay, the unanswered problem will be argued that in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money
on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money
should be spent on improving existing public transports
.
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
Additionally
, my personal idea
will be explained.
In the beginning, transportation has a huge importance on human life. Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
Further
, it is one of the inevitable fundamentals of the modern world. In my opinion, first,
making
constructing new railway lines for very fast trains which is binding cities is Verb problem
apply
necessity
. Add an article
a necessity
Second,
money
also
should be spent on improving existing public transports
. Fix the agreement mistake
transport
Consequently
, I support the
both aspects of the problem.
Remove the article
apply
Firstly
, Making
constructing new railway lines for very fast trains which is binding cities has a huge importance for the modern world. We are living in a new era which Verb problem
apply
Add a missing verb
is technologic
technologic
, cyber, Replace the word
technological
Correct word choice
and Artifical
Artifical
Intelligence based. Correct your spelling
Artificial
Hence
, our transportation understandings
has changed. Time is the key Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
of
our lives. SoChange preposition
to
that
, fast travel is Correct determiner usage
apply
inevatible
for humanity. Correct your spelling
inevitable
Therefore
, the government should set aside the taxes for the railways.
Secondly
, taxes also
should be spent on improving existing public transport. As it said, we are living in the modern world, this
Correct word choice
and this
worlds
basic needs contain adequate transportation possibilities. ThinkChange noun form
world's
a
country which wants to heighten its GDPR, if has inadequate transport possibilities, how can it Change preposition
of a
will
be considered Remove a modal verb
apply
as
empowered country? Even it can not afford its basic Correct your spelling
an
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
such
as public transport.
In conclusion, in this
essay, the unanswered problem has explained
and Add a missing verb
been explained
the
personal ideas Correct article usage
apply
has
given. The government has to glance Wrong verb form
have been
both
deficiencies and spend its Change preposition
at both
money
logical
.Change the word
logically
Submitted by ilyascanaltan on
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task achievement
Avoid repeating the same phrases and words frequently to improve readability.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are clear and that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, which is essential in task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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