In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on arts. However, others think government should spend more money on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that In many
countries
Use synonyms
, the government likes to spend more cash on arts.
However
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, others believe
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should spend more
money
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on both
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
and
education
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field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that the
governmet
Correct your spelling
government
should spend a little bit more on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
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and
education
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because they will help other
people
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for
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
he will improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creativity and for the
health
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side
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new hospitals and
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
will assist a lot of
people
Use synonyms
, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the side of
health
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and
education
Use synonyms
will bring art to us so they need to spend more
money
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on
health
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and
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
.
To begin
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with, many
countries
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spending
Wrong verb form
are spend
show examples
their
money
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in the
worng
Correct your spelling
wrong
way they should
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the right
directions
Fix the agreement mistake
direction
show examples
.
In other words
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,
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on entertainment comes after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
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and
edcuation
Correct your spelling
education
.
In addition
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,
health
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will help a lot of
people
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while
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the schools and universities will give the structures to the students to assist them
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
be
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
doctors so, it is all connected.
For example
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,
"John
Change preposition
in "John
show examples
and the
patients
Capitalize word
Patients
show examples
"
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according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
John
Change noun form
John's
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story he
was saying
Wrong verb form
says
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that he finished
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college and
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
got a job
on
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in
show examples
the clinic he said he saved more than 100 patients. Another point to consider, the government have divided 100 million, 20 goes for art and museums, and 50 for
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
, the rest of the 100 for other stuff. it is
also
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possible to say that
money
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comes fast and
spend
Wrong verb form
is spent
show examples
on something useless.
Moreover
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, Japan has printed more than 1 billion in 2020, and by 2021 they spend all of it on one field only which is the arts.
for instance
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,
usa
Correct your spelling
USA
done
Add the auxiliary verb
did
show examples
also
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the same but they managed to handle that huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
because of the great
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
. In conclusion, Despite
people
Use synonyms
having
diffrerent
Correct your spelling
different
views, I believe that it is very popular that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
wasted
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
their
money
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on ridiculous things and there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wise
countries
Use synonyms
.
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task achievement
Work on providing more detailed and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task achievement.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive, avoid general statements and elaborate more on each point.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph links smoothly to the next for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer and more logical structure in your essay. Reorganize your points to enhance readability and understanding.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a good understanding of both sides of the argument and presented your own opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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