In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on arts. However, others think government should spend more money on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
There is no denying the fact that In many
countries
, the government likes to spend more cash on arts. However
, others believe government
should spend more Correct article usage
the government
money
on both health
and Correct article usage
the health
education
field
. Fix the agreement mistake
fields
While
it is a commonly held belief that the governmet
should spend a little bit more on Correct your spelling
government
the
Correct article usage
apply
health
and education
because they will help other people
for
Change preposition
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
education
he will improve the
creativity and for the Correct article usage
apply
health
side a
new hospitals and Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
a
new Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
equipments
will assist a lot of Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
people
, there is also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the side of health
and education
will bring art to us so they need to spend more money
on health
and eduaction
.
Correct your spelling
education
To begin
with, many countries
spending
their Wrong verb form
are spend
money
in the worng
way they should Correct your spelling
wrong
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
on
the right Change preposition
in
directions
. Fix the agreement mistake
direction
In other words
, give
Wrong verb form
giving
money
on entertainment comes after the
Correct article usage
apply
health
and edcuation
. Correct your spelling
education
In addition
, health
will help a lot of people
while
the schools and universities will give the structures to the students to assist them to
Change preposition
in
be
doctors so, it is all connected. Verb problem
becoming
For example
, "John
and the Change preposition
in "John
patients
" Capitalize word
Patients
according to
Change preposition
apply
John
story he Change noun form
John's
was saying
that he finished Wrong verb form
says
the
college and Correct article usage
apply
he
got a job Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
the clinic he said he saved more than 100 patients.
Another point to consider, the government have divided 100 million, 20 goes for art and museums, and 50 for Change preposition
in
healthy
, the rest of the 100 for other stuff. it is Replace the word
health
also
possible to say that money
comes fast and spend
on something useless. Wrong verb form
is spent
Moreover
, Japan has printed more than 1 billion in 2020, and by 2021 they spend all of it on one field only which is the arts. for instance
, usa
Correct your spelling
USA
done
Add the auxiliary verb
did
also
the same but they managed to handle that huge amount of money
because of the great educational
.
In conclusion, Despite Replace the word
education
people
having diffrerent
views, I believe that it is very popular that Correct your spelling
different
the
Correct article usage
apply
countries
wasted
their Wrong verb form
waste
money
on ridiculous things and there is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
also
the
wise Correct article usage
apply
countries
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task achievement
Work on providing more detailed and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task achievement.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive, avoid general statements and elaborate more on each point.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph links smoothly to the next for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer and more logical structure in your essay. Reorganize your points to enhance readability and understanding.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a good understanding of both sides of the argument and presented your own opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your response.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.