IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Q. Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that?

#q #people #school #children #food #cook #lessons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there are adults who believe that school pupils have to participate in gardening lessons at school,
moreover
Linking Words
, to study cooking with what they have grown. I'm convinced, that it could be very important,
furthermore
Linking Words
, it would be useful for their lives. First and foremost, I suppose that the lack of respect for groceries is the root of the
food
Use synonyms
 waste, that increases from day to day all over the world. In the modern world, more than 70-80% of the population lives in cities. They are not aware of
food
Use synonyms
 growing progress and how complicated is it. For them, all of the
food
Use synonyms
 grew up on the supermarket shelves. So, when we buy more groceries than we really need, and we throw them away, we don't think about a farmer who works hard to grow
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in our days the theory about women's and men's responsibilities in daily life is not so popular. It means that either girls or boys have to study cooking,
as well as
Linking Words
 other chores. In conclusion, I want to say that I witnessed
such
Linking Words
 an experiment in one of the Israeli schools, and these lessons became very helpful and popular.
Submitted by anastasia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider elaborating on your points with more specific examples and details. This will add depth to your arguments and make your response more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that your ideas are fully developed and integrated smoothly. This includes providing sufficient explanation and support for each point made.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly introduces the topic and your opinion, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely wraps up the main points and provides a sense of closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutritional education
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Life skills
  • Curriculum
  • Extracurricular
  • Sustainability
  • Organic gardening
  • Culinary skills
  • Healthy eating habits
  • Agricultural knowledge
  • Food literacy
  • Home economics
  • Hands-on learning
  • Sustainable farming
  • Kitchen facilities
  • Environmental stewardship
What to do next:
Look at other essays: