IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the proportion ofgraduates with different qualifications working in oneengineering companyin 1980 and 2008

The charts below show the proportion ofgraduates with different qualifications working in oneengineering companyin 1980 and 2008
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart compares the manufacturing of electricity
production
Use synonyms
 by type, fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
, renewable energy, and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 in four different countries between 2004 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 a huge
percentage
Use synonyms
 of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 were produced in India and Vietnam,
while
Linking Words
 hydrogen was the main source of electricity in Morocco and Sweden.
According to
Linking Words
 the Indian
percentage
Use synonyms
 of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 accounted for 81.9% in India,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure was just 56% in Vietnam. The lower
production
Use synonyms
 was in nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 at 3.5% and 14.6% for hydropower;
however
Linking Words
, there was no
production
Use synonyms
 of nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 in Vietnam, and 43.7% of
production
Use synonyms
 consisted of hydropower. Turning to Sweden, the main source of electricity was hydropower at 52%,
while
Linking Words
 it was twice as much in Morocco at 95.5%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 was approximately similar, at 4% in Sweden and 4.5% in Morocco, respectively.The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 accounted for 44%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words production, fuels, power, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: