Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantaged and disadvantages of children doing so

Education and
work
experience have a crucial role in academics.
While
some parents encourage their
children
to seek
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
during their spare
time
, others are against
this
notion
due to
their detrimental effects on
children
's
health
.
This
essay will delve deeper into
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
and disadvantages offered by
such
inclination
Correct article usage
an inclination
show examples
. On the one hand,
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
can potentially improve future prospects of
work
. To elaborate on
this
, since many
free
Add a hyphen
free-time
show examples
time
jobs
provide
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
insight into professional life situations, they enable
students
to hone new skills and foster ideas that can be harnessed in their future
jobs
.
For example
, in order to provide practical field exposure, several schools globally offer more free
time
to
students
and encourage them to opt
part
time
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
employment in
interim
Correct article usage
the interim
show examples
.
Thus
,
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
prepare
children
for their professional life by broadening their horizons of learning.
On the other hand
, it is believed that
students
who
work
in
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
cannot maintain a healthy lifestyle.
In other words
, when youngsters' daily schedules comprise merely
work
and school, their routine unable them to participate in any physical activity.
For instance
, numerous studies have reported the demerits of
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
employment on
students
' physical
health
.
Such
sedentary lifestyles make
children
more prone to diseases
such
as obesity.
Part
Add a hyphen
Part-time
show examples
time
jobs
,
therefore
, rob
children
of their physical activities and adversely
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
their
health
. In conclusion,
although
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
offer invaluable
work
experience and
emboldens
Change the verb form
embolden
show examples
students
for various employments, it can detrimentally impact
children
's
health
by not sparing them any free
time
.
Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on

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task achievement
To further improve the task response, consider expanding on the examples provided. This will make your arguments more compelling and clear.
coherence
Ensure that sentences are crafted carefully to avoid minor grammatical errors which can slightly detract from the essay's overall clarity and coherence.
introduction conclusion
When concluding, avoid abrupt endings. Summarize the main points effectively and provide a final thought or viewpoint.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly sets the context and outlines the essay’s main points effectively. This provides a strong framework for the rest of the essay.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure with clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow the arguments presented.
supported main points
There is a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating an ability to see multiple perspectives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • punctuality
  • work ethic
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • time management
  • work experience
  • career prospects
  • independence
  • self-esteem
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • academic responsibilities
  • school performance
  • hobbies
  • relaxation
  • well-being
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • premature adulthood
  • childhood experiences
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