Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantaged and disadvantages of children doing so

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Education and
work
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experience have a crucial role in academics.
While
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some parents encourage their
children
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to seek
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part
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part-time
show examples
time
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jobs
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during their spare
time
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, others are against
this
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notion
due to
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their detrimental effects on
children
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's
health
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.
This
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essay will delve deeper into
advantages
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the advantages
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and disadvantages offered by
such
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inclination
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an inclination
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. On the one hand,
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
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can potentially improve future prospects of
work
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. To elaborate on
this
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, since many
free
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free-time
show examples
time
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jobs
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provide
an
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apply
show examples
insight into professional life situations, they enable
students
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to hone new skills and foster ideas that can be harnessed in their future
jobs
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.
For example
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, in order to provide practical field exposure, several schools globally offer more free
time
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to
students
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and encourage them to opt
part
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Use synonyms
time
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
employment in
interim
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the interim
show examples
.
Thus
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,
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
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jobs
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prepare
children
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for their professional life by broadening their horizons of learning.
On the other hand
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, it is believed that
students
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who
work
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in
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part
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part-time
show examples
time
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jobs
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cannot maintain a healthy lifestyle.
In other words
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, when youngsters' daily schedules comprise merely
work
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and school, their routine unable them to participate in any physical activity.
For instance
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, numerous studies have reported the demerits of
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
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employment on
students
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' physical
health
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.
Such
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sedentary lifestyles make
children
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more prone to diseases
such
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as obesity.
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Part
Add a hyphen
Part-time
show examples
time
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jobs
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,
therefore
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, rob
children
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of their physical activities and adversely
effects
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affects
show examples
their
health
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Add a hyphen
part-time
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
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jobs
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offer invaluable
work
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experience and
emboldens
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embolden
show examples
students
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for various employments, it can detrimentally impact
children
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's
health
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by not sparing them any free
time
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.
Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on

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task achievement
To further improve the task response, consider expanding on the examples provided. This will make your arguments more compelling and clear.
coherence
Ensure that sentences are crafted carefully to avoid minor grammatical errors which can slightly detract from the essay's overall clarity and coherence.
introduction conclusion
When concluding, avoid abrupt endings. Summarize the main points effectively and provide a final thought or viewpoint.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly sets the context and outlines the essay’s main points effectively. This provides a strong framework for the rest of the essay.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure with clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow the arguments presented.
supported main points
There is a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating an ability to see multiple perspectives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • punctuality
  • work ethic
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • time management
  • work experience
  • career prospects
  • independence
  • self-esteem
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • academic responsibilities
  • school performance
  • hobbies
  • relaxation
  • well-being
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • premature adulthood
  • childhood experiences
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