IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both side these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals #side
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Some people argue that environmental problems like the
loss
Use synonyms
 of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
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plants and animal
species
Use synonyms
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 not
a
Correct article usage
apply
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major
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 and
there
Correct word choice
that there
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 are other issues that need to be addressed first.
Whereas
Linking Words
 others show concern about
this
Linking Words
 and say that it's an equally important problem.
Although
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 the extinction of the
species
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 may not have a direct impact on human beings like poverty, famine has. I believe that it does have a long-term
effect
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 on our food chain and indirectly affects us. When a living organism gets extinct it usually doesn't affect us.
Whereas
Linking Words
 issues like poverty, unemployment and famine have an influence on our lifestyle and health.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they consider it to be a problem which is more important than the
species
Use synonyms
 extinction.
For example
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, when a flower called zenous which was found in the Amazon jungle
got
Verb problem
went
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 extinct, in 2018, it had no direct bad
effect
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 on people as it was never used by them nor
it
Add a missing verb
did it
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 have any short-term
effect
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.
Hence
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 in
such
Linking Words
 cases, it's always seen that
such
Linking Words
 problems are neglected. Where
on the other hand
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, some say that
such
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 losses affect the food chain and in the long run can damage our biodiversity. When a
species
Use synonyms
 is lost
then
Linking Words
 all the other creatures who were dependent on it are
also
Linking Words
 in danger leading to a reduction in their population .
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 can lead to damage to our planet in future.
For instance
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,
according to
Linking Words
a
Change the article
an
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 article published in 'The Hindu', in 2020,
due to
Linking Words
 heavy poaching of lions in the African jungle resulted
into
Change preposition
in
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 extinction.
Therefore
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, the hunting of herbivores by these lions for food dropped,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
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 caused the population to increase drastically, which caused the
loss
Use synonyms
 of grasslands
due to
Linking Words
 the heavy eating of grass,
finally
Linking Words
 after 10 years there was soil erosion occurring in that area.
As a result
Linking Words
, I agree with the view that the
loss
Use synonyms
 of flora and fauna should be treated as an important issue. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
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 of
species
Use synonyms
 may not have
an
Change the article
a
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 direct influence on human beings but it does have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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effect
Use synonyms
 on Earth which indirectly affects us.
Therefore
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,
such
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 issues must
Add a missing verb
be adresssed
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adresssed
Correct your spelling
addressed
 by
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 and tried to be solved as quickly as possible.
Submitted by yashaswikhot on

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grammar
Work on proofreading to eliminate small grammatical errors (e.g., 'in not' should be 'is not', 'nor it have' should be 'nor did it have').
cohesion
Try to connect your paragraphs more smoothly by using linking words and phrases. This will help improve the flow of your essay.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your main points, which will make your arguments more compelling.
balance
You have provided a balanced discussion of both views, which shows your ability to consider different perspectives.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize your arguments.
clarity
Your main points are clearly stated and supported with explanations, making it easy for the reader to follow your reasoning.
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