Many things at home which were done by hand are now done by machines. What problems are caused by this phenomenon? What can be done to tackle those problems?

Nowadays ,
people
are using
machines
for daily
tasks
,which were done by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
in the past . The main problems
this
causes are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health issues and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
energy
consumption
,and the most viable solution
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
to do
physcial
Correct your spelling
physical
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
to keep yourself healthy and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
tasks
with
the
Change the word
your
show examples
hands
instead
of the
machines
. Many
people
are reliable
Wrong verb form
rely
show examples
on
machines
in order to perform daily
tasks
such
as washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
for laundry ,
automatic
Correct word choice
and automatic
show examples
floor
moap
Correct your spelling
mop
map
which causes
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health issues like obesity and laziness.
In other words
,
this
might
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to
unsustainable
Correct article usage
an unsustainable
show examples
environment at
home
. Another major problem is arising ,which is
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
consumption
of
energy
due to
elecetrical
Correct your spelling
electrical
appliances . There are so many electrical appliances at
home
,which
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
amount of electrical
energy
such
as air conditioning ,
vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
cleaner and washing machine , and
this
results in a high electric bill ,which
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
strain financially on
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
mind
as well as
waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
show examples
a source of
energy
.
For example
, nowadays ,
people
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
dishwasher
Fix the agreement mistake
dishwashers
show examples
which take around 1 hour to wash dishes with a high
consumption
of water ,
therefore
this
rise to
waste
Correct article usage
the waste
show examples
of water
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large
quantity
Fix the agreement mistake
quantities
show examples
. To tackle
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
people
should start doing physical activities like cleaning at
home
, workout ,yoga etc which would help them to stay fit and active all day .
For example
, cleaning floor and
matts
Correct your spelling
mats
with
hands
make men and women active ,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
motivates them to work more.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
this
,
people
also
need to work on saving power
energy
Correct word choice
and energy
show examples
so that it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them to save money
also
.
For example
,
people
should wash utensils at
home
with
hands
Correct pronoun usage
their hands
show examples
because it will help them to save the water cost
as well as
the task would take less time if done by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
. In conclusion ,
people
used to do daily routines
tasks
Correct word choice
and tasks
show examples
with
hands
Correct pronoun usage
their hands
show examples
but now everyone
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
using
machines
instead
, and the problems
this
causes are health issues
as well as
high
energy
consumption
.
Therefore
, the two main solutions are
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
efficient use of
energy
and indulge in physical
tasks
.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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cohesion
Ensure to use proper punctuation and avoid running sentences together, which will improve readability and coherence.
task response
Work on sentence structure to avoid grammatical inaccuracies, especially with subject-verb agreement and tenses. This will help convey ideas more clearly.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as using a dishwasher leading to water wastage.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and clearly states the main problems and potential solutions.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dependency
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Energy consumption
  • Unemployment
  • Underemployment
  • Physical activity
  • Over-reliance
  • Social interactions
  • Collectively
  • Opportunities for socializing
  • Decreased physical exertion
  • Manual tasks
  • Automation
  • Technological advancement
  • Lifestyle changes
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