In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience

#countries #university #students #home #study #city

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In some nations,

students

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study

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at university away from home,

while

Linking Words

others go from their homes and live there. There can be some problems like the

requirementof

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requirement of

alot

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a lot

money

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for needs, but the experience of living alone can outweigh the disadvantages. In cities where universities have enough

money

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is necessary for young

students

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. For humans food, clothes,

apartment

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apartments

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, light, and water spending is very needed and for

this

Linking Words

students

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should have the needed amount of

money

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For example

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, my sister is studying at Harvard University and far from Kazakhstan. Sister told me that she must work to be able to buy her products.

On the other hand

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, the

students

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who

study

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abroad can learn a lot of skills and abilities. Things like how to act in difficult situations and how to get some

money

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while

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working at work will not take your

study

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time and will pay the cash that you want. My sister taught me how to earn

money

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and spend it

cleverly

Rephrase

wisely

show examples

without taking the things that I would not use. All of these abilities can help you in the future when you

will

Verb problem

apply

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graduate from university and will live alone without your mother and father. In conclusion, in some

countries

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countries,

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there are children who

study

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near their parents,

while

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there are

also

Linking Words

learners who

study

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far away from their homes. There can be crucial problems like

money

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, but the ability to earn and spend

money

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with a brain can help the future. So the advantages are more than the disadvantages.

Submitted by Kawasaki on Sat Aug 24 2024

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Organization

Your essay does a good job addressing the topic, but it could benefit from clearer organization and more detailed support for your arguments. For example, separating the example into its own paragraph could make your points clearer.

Grammar

Make sure to proofread your essay for minor errors such as 'requirementof' which should be 'requirement of,' and 'take your study time' which should be 'take away from your study time.' These small mistakes can somewhat hinder the readability of your essay.

Content

Try to provide more specific examples or data to back up your points. Adding precise details adds strength to your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific skills that students might gain from living away rather than general statements would give more weight to your discussion.

Content

You have clearly addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of living away from home during university with good examples from personal experience. Including personal anecdotes makes your argument relatable and engaging.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and supports your viewpoint that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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Your opinion

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Many young people today spend a lot of time playing electronic games. Is this a positive or negative development?

Social media enable people to keep in touch with each other and learn about the news. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some think that it is better to get information or advice from other people, while others believe one can get any information or advice from the Internet or books. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.