IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the information about the petrol consumption in three different continents from 2000 to 2010.

The graph below shows the information about the petrol consumption in three different continents from 2000 to 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 consumption in Asia,
Europe
Use synonyms
 and North America in six different years with the two years interval,starting from 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that
Europe
Use synonyms
 had the highest number of people using
petrol
Use synonyms
 as their source of energy.
Firstly
Linking Words
,In between 2000 and
2002
Add a comma
2002,
show examples
petrol
Use synonyms
 was consumed in closely
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 around 30
quadrillions
Use synonyms
 in three continents.After that in
2004
Add a comma
2004,
show examples
 the utility of
petrol
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased significantly in
Europe
Use synonyms
 to 42
quadrillions
Use synonyms
 and reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak at 50
quadrillions
Use synonyms
 in 2006,
whereas
Linking Words
 in Asia and North
America
Add a comma
America,
show examples
 the number
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated between 20 to 30
quadrillions
Use synonyms
.In the period of 2008 to 2010,The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 consumption had reduced gradually in Asia to reach the lowest
amount
Use synonyms
 at 20
quadrillions
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Conversely
Linking Words
,In North America
petrol
Use synonyms
 was consumed continuously to reach
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 maximum
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 42
quadrillions
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
Although
Linking Words
 in
Europe
Use synonyms
 the number had declined considerably to 28
quadrillions
Use synonyms
 in 2008,afterwards it
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 constantly to 38
quadrillions
Use synonyms
 in year 2010.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, petrol, europe, quadrillions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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