IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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eclectronic
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electronic
 devices are the latest invention.some people think that
cell
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Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should not allowed in the
classroom
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 .
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion
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because
beacuse
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because
 it caused
problem
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problems
show examples
 in critical thinking and
self evaluation
Add a hyphen
self-evaluation
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 of students To commence with ,
cell
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Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and electronic
machine
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machines
show examples
 are the
gretest
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greatest
 inventions in
modern
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the modern
show examples
 era
aditionaly
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additionally
it
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they
show examples
 provide great facilitation .To explore it, electric devices
has
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have
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mad
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made
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invidual
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individual
 life more easy
however
Linking Words
 many
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student
Change to a plural noun
students
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 can excess to
edcational
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educational
website
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websites
show examples
while
Linking Words
 using mobile phones ,
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student
Correct word choice
and student
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 can share their work
for example
Linking Words
 using mobile
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 can search many educational things on
goolgle
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google
.
on the other hand
Linking Words
 ,using
mobiloe
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mobile
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phone
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phones
show examples
 and
other electronic machine
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another electronic machine
other electronic machines
show examples
 in the
classroom
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 have
negative
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a negative
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effect
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 on students thinking .to explain it, will cause
contration
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contraction
problem
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problems
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moreover
Linking Words
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student
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students
show examples
 critical thinking will
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effect
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affect
show examples
 .using of
ecletronic
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electronic
 devices will
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effect
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affect
show examples
 the
availbility
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availability
 of
teacher
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teachers
show examples
.for intances
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For instance
 survey has shown that 30
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of
student
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 fail to conceptualize the thing than those who do not use
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cell
Add an article
a cell
the cell
show examples
phone
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 in the class .
To conclude
Linking Words
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belived
Correct your spelling
believe
believed
 that
cell
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should be banned in the
classroom
Use synonyms
it
Correct word choice
because it
show examples
Use synonyms
effect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
 their thinking ,the
managment
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management
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it clear to
resitric
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restrict
 the
ectronis gagets
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electronic gadgets
 in the
classroom
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your essay introduces the topic and provides a stance, but the ideas are not fully developed. Try to expand on your arguments with more details and examples. For instance, you mentioned that electronic devices impact critical thinking and concentration but did not provide specific examples or elaboration on how this happens.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the overall structure of your essay. Ensure you have clear and distinct paragraphs: an introduction, body paragraphs each presenting a single main idea, and a conclusion summarizing your points. This helps improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are unclear or contain grammatical errors. It would help to proofread your essay for spelling mistakes and syntactical errors. Consider seeking feedback from others or using language tools to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the issue, which is a good starting point for your essay.
coherence cohesion
You included a basic introduction and conclusion, which are crucial components of any essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Integration
  • Educational settings
  • Learning tools
  • Educational apps
  • Modern teaching methods
  • Unrestricted access
  • Distractions
  • Learning focus
  • Balanced approach
  • Usage policies
  • Pedagogical benefits
  • Classroom dynamics
What to do next:
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