devices are the latest invention.some people think that
cell
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
should not allowed in the
classroom
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.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with
this
Linking Words
notion
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because
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
it caused
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in critical thinking and
self evaluation
Add a hyphen
self-evaluation
show examples
of students
Body paragraph 1
To commence with ,
cell
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Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and electronic
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
are the
gretest
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greatest
inventions in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
era
aditionaly
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additionally
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
provide great facilitation .To explore it, electric devices
has
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have
show examples
mad
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made
show examples
invidual
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individual
life more easy
however
Linking Words
many
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student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
can excess to
edcational
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educational
website
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websites
show examples
while
Linking Words
using mobile phones ,
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student
Correct word choice
and student
show examples
can share their work
for example
Linking Words
using mobile
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can search many educational things on
goolgle
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google
.
Body paragraph 2
on the other hand
Linking Words
,using
mobiloe
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mobile
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and
other electronic machine
Change the wording
another electronic machine
other electronic machines
show examples
in the
classroom
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have
negative
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a negative
show examples
effect
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on students thinking .to explain it, will cause
contration
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contraction
problem
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problems
show examples
moreover
Linking Words
Use synonyms
student
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students
show examples
critical thinking will
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
.using of
ecletronic
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electronic
devices will
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
availbility
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availability
of
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
.for intances
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For instance
survey has shown that 30
percent
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per cent
show examples
of
student
Use synonyms
fail to conceptualize the thing than those who do not use
Use synonyms
cell
Add an article
a cell
the cell
show examples
phone
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in the class .
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
i
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I
show examples
belived
Correct your spelling
believe
believed
that
cell
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Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
should be banned in the
classroom
Use synonyms
it
Correct word choice
because it
show examples
Use synonyms
effect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
their thinking ,the
managment
Correct your spelling
management
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
it clear to
resitric
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restrict
the
ectronis gagets
Correct your spelling
electronic gadgets
in the
classroom
Use synonyms
.
madihaali8470
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task achievement
Your essay introduces the topic and provides a stance, but the ideas are not fully developed. Try to expand on your arguments with more details and examples. For instance, you mentioned that electronic devices impact critical thinking and concentration but did not provide specific examples or elaboration on how this happens.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the overall structure of your essay. Ensure you have clear and distinct paragraphs: an introduction, body paragraphs each presenting a single main idea, and a conclusion summarizing your points. This helps improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are unclear or contain grammatical errors. It would help to proofread your essay for spelling mistakes and syntactical errors. Consider seeking feedback from others or using language tools to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the issue, which is a good starting point for your essay.
coherence cohesion
You included a basic introduction and conclusion, which are crucial components of any essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
There is no denying the fact that you are supposed to have full freedom related to money you have earned, moreover, you are assumed to have a choice if you want to pay tax to the government, while there is also an argument opposing it. This essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion.
In recent years, many people have adopted a habit of excessive spending without setting aside money for future needs. In my opinion, I am convinced that this trend is a negative development, primarily because it can lead to economic instability for individuals. I am also convinced that it fosters a culture of consumerism, which can have further detrimental effects on both personal well-being and society as a whole.
The recent decades have seen a rise in the number of children suffering from obesity in many developed countries. Since this trend triggers some serious problems, such as health issues and drastic economic impacts, the joint effort of both the government and the public is required to address this situation as effectively as possible.