IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

**You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged.** **Write a letter to your friend. In the letter:** - **apologise for the damage to the item** - **explain what happened** - **say how you are going to fix the issue**

#**you #friend #**write #**apologise #damage #item** #**explain #happened** #**say #issue**
It,
s
Correct your spelling
's
 been
such
 a long time since we
last
 met . How have you been ? I hope you are doing well . I,
m
Correct your spelling
'm
 writing
this
 letter to apologise for the damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the hard drive that I borrowed from you
last
 month. I am feeling very ashamed and felt bad for
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
negligience
Correct your spelling
negligence
 of mine . Yesterday evening, when I was free from my office work
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
 earlier than I expected. I have planned to watch
movie
Add an article
the movie
a movie
show examples
 till midnight. Just before the interval of
movie
Add an article
the movie
a movie
show examples
, Suddenly
electricity
Correct article usage
the electricity
show examples
 voltage
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 down for a few
secods
Correct your spelling
seconds
 and
then
electricity
Correct article usage
the electricity
show examples
 was completely lost. After an hour, it came back . I tried to connect again but unfortunately,
hard
Add an article
the hard
show examples
 drive failed to connect again and again .
Firstly
, I
think
Wrong verb form
thought
show examples
 that
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 may be
due to
fault
Correct article usage
a fault
show examples
 in connecting
cable
Correct article usage
the cable
show examples
 but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was wrong . Today morning, I was going to
technician
Add an article
a technician
the technician
show examples
 for
repairement
Correct your spelling
repair
. but
technician
Add an article
the technician
show examples
 told me that
due to
short
Correct article usage
the short
show examples
circut
Correct your spelling
circuit
circuits
,
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 portion of
hard
Add an article
the hard
show examples
 drive
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 completely lost. Now,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have planned to buy
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 one on
coming
Add an article
the coming
show examples
 weekend. I hope you understand my intentions . yours
truely
Correct your spelling
truly
, x.y.z
Submitted by muhammadahtsham457 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar vocabulary
Work on your punctuation and spelling. For instance, 'It's' instead of 'It,s' and 'I'm' instead of 'I,m', 'negligience' should be 'negligence'. Also, 'short circuirt, small portion... were damaged' instead of '...were completely lost.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph logically flows to the next. For instance, integrate your explanation with a transition phrase.
task response
You successfully covered all three bullet points: apology, explanation, and the solution.
task response
You maintained an appropriate tone throughout the letter, which is essential for formal communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: