Some people think that the government is responsible for looking after the elderly. Others believe that it should be family members. What do you think should take responsibility?

On the contrary
Linking Words
era, there are heated arguments on the issue that the responsibilities of children. There is no iota of doubt about the caretaking of the elderly population. A majority of society
favors
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favours
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more obligation on governments
while
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others oppose
that
Correct word choice
apply
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more duty on parents. The following paragraph will highlight both views in the upcoming paragraph that lead to the logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement ,if the government does not focus on the senior citizen that will affect their
life
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. To elucidate it government must help by providing pensions above age 65 because the money helps to
fulfill
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fulfil
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their basic need in
life
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.
However
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, the administration makes a plan for
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
and
also
Linking Words
makes activities that will help them mentally and physically.
For example
Linking Words
in Denmark, higher authorities take a race for
eldersand
Correct your spelling
elders and
elders
arranged
Wrong verb form
arrange
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a price bond for position holders.
On the other hand
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, an English writer William Helen said that "
life
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is increasing living with grandson and granddaughter". To be precise, the family is the one, that knows the requirements of
life
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. If the family member is physically and mentally ill, other members take care of them.
Hence
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, the survey is conducted by elder people whether they prefer to live with family or in old age homes, ninety-eight
percent
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per cent
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older prefer to live with their family members. To
recapitulatee
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recapitulate
, I
reiteratee
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reiterate
reiterated
that
immutablee
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immutable
immutably
factor
oppositely
Add a missing verb
is oppositely
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. governments and family members
sholud
Correct your spelling
should
take care of the
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
by providing the basic needs of
life
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
authoritiesy
Correct your spelling
authorities
will help surely help by giving them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financials
Correct your spelling
financial
show examples
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability.
task achievement
Clarify the argument in the introduction and provide a more defined thesis statement.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on key points to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in presenting the main argument and summarizing the discussion.
task achievement
Relevant points are included to discuss both the government and family roles in elderly care.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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