The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton famous attractions in England from 1980 to 2010

#line #proportion #tourists #brighton #attractions #england

The graph shows us the proportion of visitors who paid a visit to four Brighton attractions in England between 1980 and 2010.

Overall

, the number of visitors

art

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to art

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gallery

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galleries

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decreased significantly.

While

there was

increase

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an increase

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when tourists visited

pavilion

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the pavilion

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and pier, the

quantity

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number

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of people taking part

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festival

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the festival

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fell steadily over

30years

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30 years

. As we can see in

line

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a line

the line

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graph, visitors who joined to

festival

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the festival

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got up

for

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about 30%,

then

the

numer

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number

of people fell

nearly

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by nearly

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5-6%. And

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the same

time

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time,

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people who visited art

gallery

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galleries

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rose significantly

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apply

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but

then

fell gradually to 10%. And

also

, the number of tourists who visited

pavilion

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the pavilion

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rocketed to

whole

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a whole

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50% in 1995. And

then

2010s

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the 2010s

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this

figure fell gradually to 30%. As we can see in

graph

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the graph

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, the percentage of pier tourists fluctuated slightly between 1980 and 2000, but

then

pier

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the pier

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ended

this

period

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apply

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. And what result do we see, one of the attractions of Brighton «

pavilion

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Pavilion

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» ended

this

period

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apply

show examples

without dramatic falls than other sightseeings).

Submitted by dnm.best on Sat Aug 24 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 5 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

168 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton famous attractions in England from 1980 to 2010

Supermarkets shoul only sell food produced within their own country. What are your opinions about it.

In some cultures, children are often toldthat they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of given children this message?

Topic 2: Some peole think the government should focus on improving the economy of the country. Other people think that government should focus on social services such as health and education programs. Which statement do you agree with? Explain and provide examples to support your opinion.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?