IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton famous attractions in England from 1980 to 2010

The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton famous attractions in England from 1980 to 2010
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The line graph which
given
Add a missing verb
is given
show examples
us
Change preposition
to us
show examples
 provides information about the attendance of popular places
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Brighton by tourists in England.
By the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 fact ,
more
Rephrase
the most
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 famous place was
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
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 which climbed sharply
till
Change preposition
to
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 48% between 1980-
2010
Correct word choice
and 2010
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 years.
However
Linking Words
 ,
another attractions
Replace the adjective
another attraction
other attractions
show examples
 like
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
 Gallery
also
Linking Words
 showed
Correct article usage
a
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noticeable
rising
Replace the word
rise
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 in 1985 , approximately 37%. After that attendance of visitors declined dramatically from
1990
Change the article
the 1990
show examples
 year. Pier was not
famed
Correct article usage
a famed
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 showplace compared with others. Visitors
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 fluctuated steadily over these years, indicator shows 9-22%. In 1980 attendance to
Festival
Fix the agreement mistake
Festivals
show examples
 reached peak results, 30%,
than
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 from
2000
Change the article
the 2000
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 year 27% of visitation levelled
of till
Change preposition
until
show examples
 2010. The Pavilion and the Festival indicated the same percentage 27% in 1985. Art Gallery and Pier in 2005 equaled
in
Change preposition
apply
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15%. It is noticeable that
last
Linking Words
years
Change noun form
year's
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 trend was downward
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the Brighton attractions.
Anyway
Add the punctuation
Anyway,
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 England is one of the most visited
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the ninth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the ninth paragraph.
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