Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Shara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Nowadays many newcomers have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visited many
places
difficult
Change preposition
in difficult
show examples
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the Shara desert or the Antarctic
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is one of a
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
them
Change preposition
for them
show examples
to dig
new
Change preposition
for new
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are many drawbacks they can
got
Change the verb form
get
show examples
from bad
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
after
visited
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
the hard
places
. First of all, experience is the best thing to encourage someone curious about the beautiful views and to record rare
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
show examples
it is crucial to
stranger
Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
show examples
.
Secondly
, they
are feel
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
satisfied when they
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
phenomenal
make them
Verb problem
people who are
show examples
exited
Correct your spelling
excited
show examples
because the gorgeous lighting
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the sky
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is different compared to other
places
.
For instance
,
Aurora
Correct article usage
the Aurora
show examples
phenomena one of the best
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
show examples
people
waiting
Wrong verb form
wait
show examples
in the evening when light and sky meet
exclude
Wrong verb form
excluding
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
colors combination
Fix the agreement mistake
color combinations
show examples
,
such
as yellow, green, and blue.
In addition
, when
moment
Correct article usage
the moment
show examples
arrive
Change the verb form
arrives
show examples
just once
year
Add an article
a year
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many visitors always prepare for themselves and it could be more efficient when
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
is coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
. In spite of the benefits mentioned above.
However
, there are many drawbacks for
visited
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
difficult
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
due to
more reason is
weather
Add an article
the weather
show examples
,
located
Replace the word
location
show examples
and
also
lees safety.
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
instruction from
guide
Correct article usage
the guide
show examples
did not have ways to
measures
Wrong verb form
measure
show examples
storm
Fix the agreement mistake
storms
show examples
will be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
coming. For the following
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
some people want to try more
challenging
Replace the word
challenges
show examples
to their selves and
also
make new
journey
Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
show examples
.
For instance
,
area
Add an article
an area
the area
show examples
in
Shara
Correct article usage
the Shara
show examples
desert
different
Add a missing verb
is different
show examples
in some
places
and
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
is very cold. In conclusion, many
experience
Change to a plural noun
experiences
show examples
for other people after they have been visited different
places
and more challenging to
increased
Change the form of the verb
increase
show examples
their knowledge and these the best reason to explain to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on

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task achievement
The essay touches upon both the benefits and drawbacks of visiting challenging places, but it can be more detailed. Consider expanding on each point with more examples and elaboration to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that details within the paragraph support this main idea. Using transition words can also help in maintaining the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. It might be helpful to proofread the essay or use grammar-checking tools. For instance, phrases like "more newcomers have been visited" should be "more tourists have been visiting."
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and sets the stage for discussing the benefits and drawbacks.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as aurora phenomena in the Arctic, add value and vividness to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay ends with a conclusion, which is important to wrap up the discussion.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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