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Band 5.5

More and more people relying on private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problem overreliances on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution

#people #car #transportation #overreliances #cars
In
this
 contemporary epoch, the use of private
vehicles
 by people is increasing. There are various issues that arise
due to
 the proliferation of these
vehicles
.
This
 essay will delve into the reasons and causes behind
this
 scenario. It will render the required solution to deal with the problem and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
 with, the most prominent reason behind the increased use of private
vehicles
 is the hectic schedule of the individuals.
Besides
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public transportation is not properly maintained by governmental officials
due to
 which humans prefer to use their own cars.
Moreover
, private
vehicles
 save time and energy for individuals.
Thus
, it is apparent why many prefer to utilize them.
Furthermore
, the overutilisation of privately owned
vehicles
exacerbate
Change the verb form
exacerbates
show examples
 the levels of pollution
due to
 which people are facing relentless diseases
such
 as asthma and heart attacks.
Thus
, the rising rate of private cars on roads leads to poor repercussions. Meanwhile, traffic congestion is another pivotal disadvantage of
such
 a scenario because it leads to higher levels of stress among youngsters. There are subsequent solutions available to solve
this
 trouble and the primary one is adopting public transport
such
 as buses or trains which could encourage improving the air quality
along with
 alleviating the traffic jams.
However
, the executives need to take necessary measures to maintain the public roads
along with
 transport to promote the public amenities.
To conclude
, as per the testimonials mentioned above it is crystal clear that depending on private
vehicles
 is not a prudent approach.
Therefore
, it is necessary to motivate people to increase the utilization of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government-owned modes of transportation in their daily lives.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the main points. This will give your essay more depth and make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of the essay. Try to ensure that all paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Improving the logical transitions between ideas can strengthen coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets up the essay well. It provides a good overview of what the essay will cover.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task adequately by discussing both problems and solutions related to overreliance on cars.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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