Although families have influence on a children’s development, factors outside the home play a bigger part in their lives nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary era, characterized by rapid technological advancements and widespread globalization, the
development
of children
is increasingly shaped by external factors
rather than solely by familial influence
. While
family undoubtedly plays a critical role
in a child's upbringing, I contend that external factors
such
as educational settings and digital media
have a more profound impact on children
's development
today.
One significant external factor is the educational environment. Schools are not only centers
of academic learning but Change the spelling
centres
also
social arenas where children
encounter diverse perspectives and peer influences. For instance
, research conducted by the OECD reveals that students in larger public schools often experience lower levels of individual attention due to
higher teacher-to-student ratios. This
reduced oversight can lead to behavioral
changes that might not be observed at home, emphasizing the substantial impact of the school environment on Change the spelling
behavioural
children
’s development
. Thus
, while
family guidance is foundational, the external educational context plays a critical role
in shaping behavior
and attitudes.
Another major Change the spelling
behaviour
influence
is digital media
, which exposes children
to a vast array of information and social interactions. The omnipresence of social media
platforms means that children
are constantly exposed to various trends, peer opinions, and content that can significantly impact their self-perception and behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
For example
, studies by the Pew Research Center indicate that children
who engage heavily with social media
are more likely to experience issues related to self-esteem and body image. This
exposure to external content often outweighs the influence
of parental advice, highlighting the powerful role
of digital media
in modern development
.
In conclusion, while
the role
of family in children
's development
remains undeniably important, the influence
of external factors
such
as educational environments and digital media
has grown significantly. The substantial time children
spend outside the home and their exposure to a wide range of external stimuli underscore the need for parents to be proactive in guiding their children
through these influences. By acknowledging and addressing these external factors
, families can better support their children
's overall
development
in today's complex world.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay is well-structured and maintains a clear focus throughout. You have effectively addressed the prompt by discussing both the importance of family and the influence of external factors such as educational environments and digital media. To elevate your score, you could provide a counterargument or explore family influence in more depth to balance the discussion.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, providing more transitional phrases between some of the paragraphs can improve the overall coherence. This would help in smoother progression of ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively used specific examples and studies to support your points, making your argument more convincing and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Your essay features a strong introduction and a concise conclusion that effectively wraps up your arguments.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!