Some people believe that educational qualifications will always bring success in life. Other people say that educational qualifications do not necessarily bring success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

To become a successful person, some
people
believe that having a
degree
from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university is the best choice to foster their career path,
while
others argue that nowadays a higher level of educational attainment is no longer necessary. In my opinion,
although
an
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apply
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education is not the only factor to consider
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
of success you will have, it is still crucial in many aspects.
This
essay will explore the reasons and my standpoint in the following paragraphs. On one hand, we’re in a digital century
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
can acquire any knowledge on the internet, and many non-
degree
jobs are generated.
For instance
, there are many
people
become
Correct pronoun usage
who become
show examples
well-known influencers by selecting their own interests to create some content on social media. Some of them start their journey with online
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
such
as how to do videography, editing, and voice recording.
As a result
, getting a higher level of education is not the only method to have a better life.
On the other hand
, the truth is that a college
degree
is needed for many careers because in some
industry
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industries
show examples
it is important to have professional knowledge which can only be gained from the university,
for example
, a person cannot become a certified accountant if he
do
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does
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not have an accounting
degree
, or a person who takes a lawyer examination has to graduate from law school.
Moreover
, to get
promote
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promoted
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in a company may have a
degree
as a prerequisite condition. If a supervisor does not have a
degree
, he cannot elevate his career path to a manager.
Consequently
, his advancement in the organization is blocked.
Hence
, a
degree
achievement can lead to success. In conclusion,
although
these days a college education
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
not essential for accomplishment, an undergraduate
degree
is continuously required for many occupations, and it may be your advantage for getting
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
promotion.
People
should
therefore
acknowledge what path they desire and carefully research if the
degree
is vital.
Submitted by jubjangjuda on

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task response
To enhance task response, ensure all parts of the question are addressed in a balanced manner. In this case, further elaboration on your personal opinion and its justification would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while the essay has a clear structure, some transitional phrases between ideas and paragraphs could improve the flow. Additionally, be cautious of repetitive language and aim for more varied sentence structures.
introduction conclusion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and presents a clear thesis statement.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant specific examples, such as the mention of influencers and specific professions like accounting and law, which supports the main points well.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion, providing a sense of closure.

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