Some people believe that educational qualifications will always bring success in life. Other people say that educational qualifications do not necessarily bring success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
To become a successful person, some
people
believe that having a degree
from the
university is the best choice to foster their career path, Correct article usage
a
while
others argue that nowadays a higher level of educational attainment is no longer necessary. In my opinion, although
an
education is not the only factor to consider Remove the article
apply
level
of success you will have, it is still crucial in many aspects. Add an article
the level
This
essay will explore the reasons and my standpoint in the following paragraphs.
On one hand, we’re in a digital century that
Correct word choice
where
people
can acquire any knowledge on the internet, and many non-degree
jobs are generated. For instance
, there are many people
become
well-known influencers by selecting their own interests to create some content on social media. Some of them start their journey with online Correct pronoun usage
who become
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
such
as how to do videography, editing, and voice recording. As a result
, getting a higher level of education is not the only method to have a better life.
On the other hand
, the truth is that a college degree
is needed for many careers because in some industry
it is important to have professional knowledge which can only be gained from the university, Fix the agreement mistake
industries
for example
, a person cannot become a certified accountant if he do
not have an accounting Change the verb form
does
degree
, or a person who takes a lawyer examination has to graduate from law school. Moreover
, to get promote
in a company may have a Change the form of the verb
promoted
degree
as a prerequisite condition. If a supervisor does not have a degree
, he cannot elevate his career path to a manager. Consequently
, his advancement in the organization is blocked. Hence
, a degree
achievement can lead to success.
In conclusion, although
these days a college education does
not essential for accomplishment, an undergraduate Verb problem
is
degree
is continuously required for many occupations, and it may be your advantage for getting job
promotion. Add an article
a job
People
should therefore
acknowledge what path they desire and carefully research if the degree
is vital.Submitted by jubjangjuda on
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task response
To enhance task response, ensure all parts of the question are addressed in a balanced manner. In this case, further elaboration on your personal opinion and its justification would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while the essay has a clear structure, some transitional phrases between ideas and paragraphs could improve the flow. Additionally, be cautious of repetitive language and aim for more varied sentence structures.
introduction conclusion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and presents a clear thesis statement.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant specific examples, such as the mention of influencers and specific professions like accounting and law, which supports the main points well.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion, providing a sense of closure.
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