People have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. Write about the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint? Q

In the modern
workplace
, employees have different visions for careers some have a passion
to shift
Change preposition
for shifting
show examples
their jobs because of earning experiences and
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
moods,
While
While
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
others prefer not to secure their position at
work
and get
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
the promotion
show examples
.
Therefore
, I will write
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
cons and pros of different
job
expectations
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
both perspectives. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, individuals who would like to keep their
job
because wild-range of reasons. First of all, having
one
suitable career provides people good
life
through
earn
Change the verb form
earning
show examples
work
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
show examples
.
Thus
, they can have a great
life
for themself
as well as
their
Change the word
the
show examples
next generation via rewards from
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
.
Moreover
, workers would handle their position at
work
throughout
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through
show examples
hard-
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
and loyalty toward
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
However
, the people who
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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change
their
job
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
to acquire new knowledge and experience. To elaborate more, some working
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
present
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
routine
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
yet the individual has just
one
professional side.
According to
that, if the company replace
Correct article usage
a parson’s
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parson’s
Correct your spelling
person’s
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position
to
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in
show examples
another area, she/ he will
fell
Verb problem
fail
show examples
because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
lack
experience
Change preposition
of experience
show examples
.
Whereas
,
on the other hand
, people who quickly shift to another
work
area have multifaceted positive and negative.
To begin
with pros, they will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
to acquire
diversity
Replace the word
diverse
show examples
job
opportunities, experiences ,and knowledge about
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they
change
their career, they could find new
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
show examples
which ameliorate their skills.
In addition
, some workers love to try something new
due to
feeling bored . So, their
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
mood leads to
disadvantage
Correct article usage
a disadvantage
show examples
point to replace the
workplace
.
One
main con is changing
apartment
Correct article usage
the apartment
show examples
living area ( where the person
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
) which makes workers’
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
feel unstable at home.
Overall
, everyone should think twice before
change
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
their
job
to another
one
. Having deep thinking on
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
and disadvantages of each
life
stages
Fix the agreement mistake
stage
show examples
will enhance our
life
positively.
Submitted by sheikha1996mohammed on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a decent structure. However, the body paragraphs need more logical progression and elaboration of points. Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and fully explores it before moving on to the next.
task achievement
Some ideas are clear, but they lack depth. Make sure to elaborate on your points with specific examples or detailed explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing and your essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
There are grammatical errors and awkward phrases throughout your essay. For example, "get promotion" should be "get a promotion" and "feel because the lack" should be "fail because of the lack." Writing more clearly and accurately will help your overall score.
task achievement
To improve the clarity of your ideas, make sure to fully explain and support each point. This will help you achieve a more complete response to the essay question. For example, when mentioning the pros and cons of frequently changing jobs, provide specific scenarios or data to support your claims.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both viewpoints and provides a reasonable amount of discussion on each side. This shows a balanced consideration of the topic, which is good for your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
You have a good basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps to organize your ideas clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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