In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
Living longer than the expected average life span is increasing gradually than earlier. Few argue that it is beneficial to the younger generation in many ways,
while
the
others Correct article usage
apply
argue
Verb problem
apply
the
oppose it stating it might be Correct article usage
apply
burden
or problematic to the Correct article usage
a burden
government
. This
essay will discuss pros
and cons of Correct article usage
the pros
this
ageing population
and I believe this
is more advantageous compare
to Change the form of the verb
compared
cons
.
Correct article usage
the cons
Firstly
, the main advantage is that their life experience, advices
, and suggestions cannot be taught to Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
younger
generation through some courses or learned by ourselves. Youths nowadays hardly remember and incorporate human values. They are attracted more towards materialistic items and Add an article
the younger
a younger
ignoring
humanity. Wrong verb form
ignore
In addition
to this
, working parents hardly spent
time with their kids, leaving them behind with caretakers to look after them Wrong verb form
spend
causes
Wrong verb form
causing
lack
of parenting and love. These where old Correct article usage
a lack
people
might help them in looking after their grandchildren’s
and teaching them about valuable things like respecting elders, aiding each other, and building moral values. Would help in growing Change noun form
grandchildren
younger
generation towards the betterment of the future and society.
Correct article usage
the younger
On the other hand
, people
who oppose the increasing ageing population
might cause problems to
the Change preposition
for
government
give
reasons like Wrong verb form
giving
increase
in tax Correct article usage
an increase
payment
, pension Fix the agreement mistake
payments
scheme
, and investing Fix the agreement mistake
schemes
free
medical check-ups, and treatments. Change preposition
in free
For instance
, as the population
grows government
need to aid in looking after their health by providing good medical infrastructure, which can be done by increasing their pension amount so that they can afford it due to
the fact where
tax payment by the working professionals needs to be increased causing Correct word choice
that
this
individual’s net salary to be reduced. Secondly
, old people
need attention, and company when their children are out for working
. Change the form of the verb
work
Otherwise
, this
might lead to loneliness causing depression.
In my opinion, the above issues can be addressed effectively by the government
with appropriate strategy
and policies. But the pros gained by Fix the agreement mistake
strategies
this
Correct determiner usage
these
people
presence cannot be tallied or handled with any Change noun form
people's
polices
or plans.
Correct your spelling
policies
To conclude
, people
living longer than the expected life span is a positive development, and its advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages by taking appropriate steps by the government
.
In many countries, people
are now living longer than ever before. Some people
say an ageing population
creates problems for governments. Other people
think there are benefits if society has more elderly people
.Submitted by nlchiranth11 on
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task response
To improve task response, ensure your positions are fully developed. For example, providing more relevant and specific examples can help clarify your points and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion have been provided, making the essay easier to follow.
task response
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, showing a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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