The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activites at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#information #numbers #participants #activites #centre #melbourne #australia #period #summarise #features #comparisons

The graph illustrates the

number

people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

joined film clubs, martial arts,

amateur

dramatics

, table tennis, and musical

performances

at one social centre in Melbourne between 2000 and 2020, with the data measured in numbers.

Overall

, it is evident that the most popular activity was film clubs throughout the period,

while

amateur

and musical

performances

were the most uncommon. In terms of the highest

number

, the film club stood at 65 in 2005.

This

number

decreased slightly to 60 in 2010 before bouncing back to around 66 in 2020.

Moreover

, in the second position, martial arts started at 35 in 2000. It

also

had an unstable trend and did not change

at the end

. Meanwhile, table tennis began at 15 in 2000, and successfully overtook martial arts,

this

activity witnessed a significant growth to 55 in 2020. Regarding the remaining activities, there were 25

people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

joined

amateur

dramatics

in 2000.

This

number

was followed by musical

performances

at 0

people

in 2000.

However

, both activities experienced a different trend, the interest in

amateur

dramatics

fell moderately to 15

people

and it was overtaken by musical

performances

at 17

people

in 2015.

Lastly

Amateur

dramatics

and musical

performances

ended at 8 and 19, respectively.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Aug 25 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, amateur, dramatics, performances with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

205 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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