Many people believe that playing games and tv programs is beneficial but others say it doesnt improve the mental ability of children . What extend do you agree or disagree.

It is undoubtedly true that
to improve
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improving
show examples
children
's mental
ability
is now a major concern. It is opined that playing
games
as well as
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
serials is helpful
while
others feel that these have implications on
children
's mental
ability
.
However
, I agree with the former statement and will prove my stand with
logical
Correct article usage
a logical
show examples
explanation in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, a certain group of individuals tend to believe that online
games
and
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
programmes
are assistive for the growth of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
.
To begin
with, it is not only a convenient way to be entertained but
also
to
pass
Verb problem
spend
show examples
quality time
for
Change preposition
with
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the
children
.
Since
Correct word choice
apply
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
programmes
work effectively in terms of knowing different cultures around the world
as well as
to get
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getting
show examples
rid of tiredness after a hectic day. Other than that distinct types of useful skills can be learned
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
way. If we consider one example
Verb problem
,
show examples
that is
one of my cousins can type the computer keyboard
more
Change the word
apply
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faster than the previous
because
Correct pronoun usage
one because
show examples
of playing computer
games
regularly.
On the other hand
, the rest of the people opined that it is detrimental for the
children
when it comes to their mental health. If the
children
continuously stick with both
games
and
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
programmes
then
they will
loose
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lose
show examples
their thinking
ability
soon from different perspectives based on certain circumstances. As the remedy of the lost mental health is not that easy. They will become more sluggish to participate in any physical activity and that's why affected by severe mental diseases. Let's take
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
example of Sweden where 40% of the population has been affected by eye problems. In conclusion, the essay discussed points which
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
the effectiveness of
games
and
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
programmes
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
's mental
ability
and
also
the possible implications
along with
some outcomes.
Submitted by mahamudzisan on

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task achievement
Clarify your position more distinctly in the introduction. Mention whether you fully agree, partially agree, or disagree with the statement.
task achievement
Try to integrate more specific examples to substantiate your points. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus and connection to each other. This will improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a recognizable structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. This is good and essential for coherence.
task achievement
Using personal examples, like the cousin's improved typing speed, adds a personal touch and can make the argument more relatable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • problem-solving skills
  • spatial awareness
  • analytical thinking
  • multiplayer games
  • social abilities
  • imagination
  • creativity
  • interactive content
  • stress relief
  • relaxation
  • anxiety
  • screen time
  • physical activity
  • eye strain
  • sleep patterns
  • educational value
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