In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh disadvantages?

the population of the world is increasing rapidly because nowadays people are living longer than past. In many parts of the world, it is commonly argued that
adults
can cause issues for
the
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apply
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governments
whereas
,
other
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others
show examples
believe that they are
benefical
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beneficial
for the nation. In my
onion
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opinion
show examples
,
benefits
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the benefits
show examples
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of a
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a
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an
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ageing population outweigh the drawbacks. and in
this
essay; I will give
explanation
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an explanation
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for
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of
show examples
my
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viewpoint
show examples
view point
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viewpoint
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1o
pegin
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begin
, it is true that
number
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a number
the number
show examples
of
adults
all around the
would
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world
show examples
are outnumbering number of young steers, but there are numerous
cadvantages
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advantages
of raving aged group of people,for a country. First of all,
adults
can serve their nation in many ways
particuary
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particularly
in Jobs and educational
tield
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field
- Inis
i
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I
show examples
, because they are more experienced than
newcommers
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newcomers
and they
can
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apply
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can train them very well.
For instance
, In my country,
majority
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the majority
show examples
of the government olicals are the age of 50 or above because they have
better
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a better
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understanding
o
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of
show examples
the task and can contribute more than a younger employee.
Moreover
, these
adults
are
also
the mentor
o
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of
their juniors and
there
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their
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juniors learn
alot
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a lot
of different things
fvom
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from
them.
hence
, aged individuals can provide many benefits to a
soliety
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society
.
In addition
, elder
afizen
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arisen
. are found
of creating
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to create
show examples
relation
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relations
show examples
with
other citizen
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another citizen
other citizens
show examples
.
This
• is because, they have plenty of free time and they
utilile
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utilize
utilise
it
my
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by
show examples
meeting others. Resultantly, their families
also
get an
oppurnity
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opportunity
to form new
velantion
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relations
ships with other families.
hence
, older people can solve social
prodlems
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problems
. In
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conclusion
conclusiong
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conclusiong,
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although
ageing
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the ageing
show examples
population can have some disadvantages,
but
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apply
show examples
their advantages
such
as contributing to the nation and
socialiazing
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socialising
, outweigh a diy advantages.
Submitted by sajeehulzamans on

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task response
Your essay needs a clearer and more structured introduction and conclusion. Make sure you clearly state your position and summarize your main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Try to reduce grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will make your ideas easier to understand and convey more professionalism.
task response
You have made a good attempt to address both sides of the issue, which shows you can consider different viewpoints.
task response
The use of specific examples, such as experiences from your own country, strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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