#Essays #Task2 In some countries younger people are increasingly losing interest in teaching. Why is this happening? What can be done to improve the situation? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your own experience.

It is becoming a trend of losing interest in teaching by the young individuals.
This
essay will
explains
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explain
show examples
the root and the key factors to remedy
this
suituation
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situation
.
To Begin
with
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with,
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the cause, good pay scale and
respect
attracts
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attract
show examples
the
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apply
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young individuals to
teaching
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the teaching
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profession.
A financial
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Financial
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stability and
self
Add a hyphen
self-respect
show examples
respect
are the rights of human
being
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beings
show examples
.
For instance
, In
pakistan
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Pakistan
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, the average salary of a teacher is 45000 rupees.
This
salary is not enough for a single family.
This
salary
do
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does
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not have
potential
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the potential
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of fulfilling
the
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apply
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basic needs.
Additionally
,
teachers
do not
recieve
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receive
much
respect
in return
of
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for
show examples
their services nowadays.
While
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apply
show examples
,
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apply
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In the past people paid much attention to
teachers
and
obey
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obeyed
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them. To remedy
this
issue, In my personal opinion,
this
issue can only be resolved by the financial support of
government
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the government
show examples
.
Government
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The government
show examples
should
advised
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advise
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the education council to make an incentive programme and prepare a plan to
revised
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revise
show examples
the pay scale of all
the
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apply
show examples
teachers
.
Moreover
,
government
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the government
show examples
should
advised
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advise
show examples
the town council to
registered
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register
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all the public and private
teachers
.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
government
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the government
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should make a rule for every student to
respect
the
teachers
and
this
rule should be approved
from
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by
show examples
the
senate
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Senate
show examples
.
For example
, if the
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
of Pakistan
revise
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revised
show examples
the pay scale and
provide
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provided
show examples
Add an article
an incentive
the incentive
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incentive
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incentives
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to all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teacher
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teachers
show examples
, more young people
attracts
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attracted
show examples
toward
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to
show examples
this
profession again. To summarize
this
, losing interest
of
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in
show examples
young
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
can only be overcome by financial support from the
government
.
Submitted by muhammadahtsham457 on

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grammar
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For instance, 'explains the root and the key factors to remedy this suituation' should be 'explains the root causes and key factors to address this situation.' Also, 'Government should advised the education council' should be 'Government should advise the education council.'
clarity
The essay lacks some fluency and clarity due to awkward phrasing and sentence structure. Simplifying your sentences and ensuring they flow logically can help improve readability.
supporting details
While there are examples given, they could be more specific and detailed to effectively support your arguments. For instance, describing the incentive program in more detail would strengthen your point.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt—identifying reasons for reduced interest in teaching and suggesting potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial incentives
  • social status
  • prestigious
  • workload
  • stress
  • bureaucratic demands
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • career progression
  • ambitious
  • support and resources
  • classroom supplies
  • administrative assistance
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