In the present day, social media plays an important role in young people’s lives. Many people believe that it enhances creativity and global awareness, while others argue it could negatively impact their behavior and attitudes
In the present day, social
media
plays an important role in young people’s lives. Many people believe that it enhances creativity and global awareness, while
others argue it could negatively impact their behavior
and attitudes. In the following paragraphs, both points of view will be discussed in detail before Change the spelling
behaviour
conclusion
is reached.
On the one hand, there are many advantages which social Add an article
a conclusion
the conclusion
media
provides. The significant one among them is creativity. The internet has vast amounts of interesting information for learning and inspiration, as it gives digital space for sharing ideas and opinions. Nowadays, every aspect of news present
on social Add a missing verb
is present
media
such
as economy, financial, business, politic
, civic, science and environment, Correct your spelling
politics
this
literacy news promotes global awareness for teenagers in every home. Additionally
, Add an article
the medial
medial
platform provides Replace the word
media
teenages
with avenues to express themself artistically and innovatively Correct your spelling
teenagers
from
creating and sharing videos on Change preposition
by
youtube
, facebook or Correct your spelling
YouTube
instagram
, Change the capitalization
Instagram
this
leads to improve
positive self-esteem.
Wrong verb form
improved
On the other hand
, this
platform can also
have adverse effects on young people. Social media
addiction and excessive screen time can lead to social avoidant
and decrease communication Correct your spelling
avoidance
skill
in real life. Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Moreover
, online bullying is a major issue causing potential drawbacks on
Change preposition
for
teenages
, Correct your spelling
teenagers
as a result
of depression and mental health issues. Lack of cybersecurity can put personal information or individual identity at risk.
In conclusion, while
social media
offers various advantages, such
as creativity, knowledge and self-esteem, it is important to consider the potential negative impacts on children. Therefore
, parents should take responsibility to restrict
screen time and carefully select content for their children. Change preposition
for restricting
Government
Add an article
The government
also
has to take action in punishment
of cybercrime and Correct article usage
the punishment
cyber bullying
.Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
This
will help ensure teenages
to take maximize profits from social Correct your spelling
teenagers
media
and mitigate adverse outcome
.Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
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task achievement
The response effectively addresses the topic, providing valid points on both sides of the argument. However, including more specific, varied examples can strengthen your arguments even further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using more transitional phrases would enhance the logical flow and coherence further.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences require grammatical refinement for smoother reading. Also, minor inaccuracies in word choice and spelling should be revised (e.g., 'teenages' should be 'teenagers', 'literacy news' should be 'news literacy').
task achievement
You covered diverse aspects of the issue and presented a balanced view regarding the positive and negative impacts of social media on young people. This demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion. You maintained focus on the key points throughout the essay, which helps in understanding your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported with relevant reasons, contributing to the overall effectiveness of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example