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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people argue that individuals’ freedom should be in accordance with laws and rules, otherwise, society cannot function as it should be. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #individuals’ #freedom #accordance #laws #rules #society #function
Laws
,
rules
 and regulations are formed for a sustainable society and economy. Some
people
 opine that the
freedom
 of a person should be aligned with the
laws
 to maintain the well-being of a society and I agree with
this
 school of thought too. First and foremost,
laws
 are meant to prevent crime and maintain the harmony of a
nation
. If followed properly,
people
 feel themselves in safe a society.
However
,
freedom
 should not constrain the act or right to speech.
Laws
 not only accelerate safety and harmony but
also
 foster a disciplined, peaceful and stable
nation
. It protects both the public and private life of a person.
Moreover
, it sets boundaries as excessive
freedom
 can deteriorate the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, responsibility and accountability of an individual towards their
nation
.
Rules
 and regulations are the foundation and fundamental part of an economy.
Furthermore
, the development of
inclusive
Correct article usage
an inclusive
show examples
 and accountable justice system will provide quality services to
people
 and build trust in the legitimacy of their government.
This
 approach protects the fundamental rights of
people
. The justice mechanism of a
nation
 is an important component in sustaining peace.
Also
, without
rules
 the
nation
 will slide swiftly into pandemonium.
People
 should not condemn and criticize the
rules
 but follow them entirely with
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 absolute sense of responsibility. Actions of
people
 and hold on prevention of crime is only possible if
people
 will obey
rules
 gracefully.
To conclude
.
an
Remove the article
apply
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absolute
freedom
 directly leads to
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
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 of a
nation
 as
set
Add an article
a set
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 of
rules
 and justice directly promotes a safe and peaceful
nation
.
However
, too many restrictions can
freedon
Correct your spelling
freedom
, creativity and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of expression.
Hence
,
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 is required between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
 and regulations.
Submitted by simranjit2598 on

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task achievement
Expand on the points made with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This would make the arguments more compelling and clear.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points discussed in the essay. This would provide a clearer sense of closure.
language accuracy
Review the essay for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding topic sentences to paragraphs to clearly state the main idea that will be discussed. This contributes to coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This shows good coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The main points are supported with logical reasoning, which indicates a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents a balanced view, acknowledging different perspectives. This is important for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social order
  • fundamental human rights
  • societal harmony
  • acceptable behavior
  • economic stability
  • public health
  • individual growth
  • predictability in social interactions
  • restrictive laws
  • freedom of expression
  • balance between freedom and regulation
  • safety and security
  • societal progress
  • absolute freedom
  • disrupt
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