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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that when deciding how taxpayers' money is spent, governments should prioritise health care, while others believe that there are other priorities to spend this money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #taxpayers #money #governments #prioritise #health #care #priorities
The table reports information about number of temporary migrant
workers
 in four
countries
. The data was collected in 2003 and 2006. There is
also
 the ratio of
migrants
 per 1,000 people in 2006. Generally, one can note the main tendence: the number of working
migrants
 increased in all four
countries
 during the accounting period. The biggest raise was in United Kingdom. It came to 129,000 people (almost 95-100% in comparison to 2003). There are two contrasts
also
. The largest absolute quantity of foreign
workers
 was in the United States. The lowest - in New Zealand.
However
, the ratio of
migrants
 and the population in the USA was minimal (2.3
workers
 per 1,000 people). In New Zealand
this
 number reached the maximal level among the reporting
countries
: 21.1
workers
. In conclusion, it should be noticed that the main feature of English speaking
countries
 is attractivity for foreign
workers
. The amount of temporary working
migrants
 increased in the middle of 2000-2010 decade.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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introduction conclusion present
You have an overall clear structure in your essay, starting with an introduction of the data, followed by main findings and concluding remarks. However, your conclusion could be more developed and better aligned with the discussion presented.
logical structure
For coherence and cohesion, ensure your paragraphs are connected smoothly. Transition words or phrases can help link your ideas more effectively. Consider using phrases like 'In addition,' or 'On the other hand,' to make your analysis smoother.
complete response
To improve task achievement, make sure you address all parts of the task more comprehensively. Expand on your points, and provide more analysis or commentary on the data presented. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding and provide a fuller response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear, but you need to elaborate more on each point. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to fully explore the data and its implications.
relevant specific examples
Try to incorporate more specific data points or examples from the table to support your points. This will help to demonstrate that you have thoroughly engaged with the data presented.
logical structure
You have successfully identified the main trends from the data and discussed them clearly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear structure with a logical flow of information from the introduction to the conclusion.
supported main points
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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