computers are being used more and more in education. Some peole say that this is aposetivr trend, while others argue that it leading to negeative consequenc. Discuss both sides of this argument and given your own opinion.

On the one hand, it could be argued that being able to use devices like
computers
has advanced our education in certain respects. The greatest benefit is that when some utilise
computers
in education, they can get some chances to work at the best company in the world since by using
computers
, they can easily access to a top-ranked university, and taking online courses would help them to improve their resume, so once they graduate, have an opportunity to hire
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
well-known company around the world by submitting their Cv.
Secondly
, it seems that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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computers
are convenient.
For instance
,
instead
of different books that some ought to buy,
computers
are the best choices to replace.
Therefore
, they are not worried about which books they should buy, as material usage is available for them on their computer whenever they want.
However
, I think that there are arguments to show that
computers
have a negative impact on education. One issue is that if people use them, their eyes get dry.
For example
, I had an experience when I was studying for a Tofel exam my eyes were dried, and a doctor advised me to use eye drops. Even worse, in my opinion, people can lose their focus
due to
the fact that they might get distracted by other sites or applications . The most damaging aspect is cost. Some,
for instance
, who live in
low-income
Add an article
a low-income
show examples
family can not afford to buy
computers
for their academic goal.
As a result
, they get disappointed to follow their academic world.
To sum up
,
although
it is undeniable that
computers
help people to secure better
career
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careers
show examples
for themselves, it has an effect on
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
who suffer from financial situations.
Therefore
, on balance, I believe that
computers
have a
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
impact that we can not ignore.
Submitted by yektashahryari on

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language
Work on grammatical accuracy and spelling to avoid small errors. For example, 'Tofel' should be 'TOEFL', and 'negetive' should be 'negative'.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one idea to the next, providing clear transitions. This will make your argumentation stronger and more coherent.
task response
Increase the depth of your examples and explanations to strengthen your points. While you provide relevant examples, they could be further developed.
task response
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task response
You address both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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