IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#unemployment #situation #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given bar chart provides information and gives a helicopter view
concearning
Correct your spelling
concerning
 the proportion of
unemploiment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 over the
year
 2012 in two different areas
such
 as rural and urban from the first
year
 to the
forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
year
 . Generally speaking,at the beginning of the
year
 2012 the
prople
Correct your spelling
people
 with
firts
Correct your spelling
first
year
 in urban areas
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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peaked at 4% high.
However
,in rural
areas
Add a comma
areas,
show examples
 we can see
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
significanly
Correct your spelling
significant
fell
Replace the word
fall
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 from
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 75 to almost 4.5 %.Moving on to the third
year
 of jobless mankind
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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sharply dropped to the percentage of 2%.It can be seen that
Correct article usage
the rates
show examples
rates
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rate
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 of people with no job in the
contryside
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countryside
 was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unstable rate .
On the other hand
,after the
pluged
Correct your spelling
plugged
 happened in
rural
Correct article usage
the rural
show examples
 side it reached a high of 5.5%
wich
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which
show examples
 is
desponant
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despondent
.
Therefore
,we can say that
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
last
 of the
year
 2012
un job
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unemployed
show examples
men
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men's
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 rates
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
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 off to 5%.
Moreover
,
urban
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the urban
show examples
 country was
unastable
Correct your spelling
unstable
 till the end of the period .
Submitted by manalalmoasharji on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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