Some people believe that politicians are more influential than scientists, whilst others believe that scientists have more influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Recently, there has been a long
disccusion
Correct your spelling
discussion
about the
influenting
Correct your spelling
influencing
influential
personality of the world .It is often argued that
politicians
are influential, at the same time, some people
opion
Correct your spelling
opinion
this
by adding that
scientists
are more influential . In my
opionion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
scientists
are more influential than
politicians
because without scientific inventions
politicians
cannot play a major
role
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developments.
Firstly
,
To begin
with, The
scientist
, country developments can only be recognised by their scientific inventions.
Moreover
,
scientist
plays a vital
role
in the growth of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
. Nowadays, All the facilities we
are enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
including electricity, mobile phones and
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
also
,
that is
just because of scientific inventions.
For instance
, A well-known personality, Dr Abdul Qadir
khan
Capitalize word
Khan
show examples
( Pakistani
Scientist
) serve their whole life for the
nation
. Later on,
He
Verb problem
he
show examples
was succeed
Change the verb form
was succeeded
show examples
in making of atomic bomb for his
nation
.
Additionally
, In healthcare
scientists
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
hard burning the midnight oil in making of vaccine for the
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
.
This
vaccine
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
protection against
this
virus globally .
Secondly
, The
politicians
,
They
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
an important
role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
nation
. They have capabilities of managing
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
,
organise
Wrong verb form
organising
show examples
policies ,and
implementations
Replace the word
implementing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
. but, without
scientific
Correct article usage
a scientific
show examples
role
, they cannot performed fully.
For example
, Prime
minister
Capitalize word
Minister
show examples
Imran
khan
Capitalize word
Khan
show examples
organise
Wrong verb form
organised
show examples
a healthcare policy for the
nation
, by introducing a health-card system. Through
this
every individual
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
nation
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
all kinds of treatment
fom
Correct your spelling
from
any hospital free of cost.
This
is a good initiative from the policymaker.
Additionally
, In
covid
Correct your spelling
that
time, all the representatives of the countries gathered to overcome
this
issue. Here
also
,
Scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
Scientists
show examples
play a vital
role
by inventing
vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
show examples
on time and
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
the world . It is concluded that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
both the
scientists
and
politicians
have their own influence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
nation
but the
scientist
Change noun form
scientist's
show examples
influence
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
the
politician
Change noun form
politician's
show examples
influence .
Submitted by muhammadahtsham457 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear, but it would be stronger if you defined terms like 'influential' early on. This helps set the stage for your analysis.
complete response
Make sure each of your points directly responds to the prompt. Your essay should clearly establish why one group's influence outweighs the other.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are promising but need clearer articulation. Work on making your arguments more logical and easier to follow.
relevant specific examples
Always use relevant and specific examples to back up your claims. This will make your points more compelling.
complete response
Your essay covers both views effectively, which shows a good understanding of the prompt.
supported main points
You've provided clear examples for each of your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • policymakers
  • legislation
  • public platform
  • regulatory impact
  • technological advancements
  • research breakthroughs
  • evidence-based
  • public policy
  • societal progress
  • medical innovations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: