Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sport clubs, believe that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other employees find no benefit doing so. Discuss both views.

Most
staff
officer
Change to a plural noun
officers
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
given by
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
the facilities
Change preposition
for sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
clubs
and
also
they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
card
membership to join gyms,
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
would
be
Verb problem
make
show examples
their
staff
more well beings and
focus
Replace the word
focused
show examples
at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work.
Nevertheless
, other employees argue
that
is
Correct pronoun usage
there is
show examples
no benefit from them. Because health is pivotal for
staff
members
,
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
company
gives membership for their
employment
Replace the word
employees
show examples
to follow
sport club
Fix the agreement mistake
sports clubs
show examples
likewise
soccer and gym. Other
staff
think
that is
not
effectively
Change the word
effective
show examples
because it is spending many
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
and
energy
.
This
essay will discuss both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
. On the one hand, some
staff
officer
Fix the agreement mistake
officers
show examples
have
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
joining
soccer
Correct article usage
a soccer
show examples
club
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
more
healthy
Replace the word
healthier
show examples
.
However
, they will burn their calories which are not outstanding for their
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
. For
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
reason, why the
company
help them to give
card
members
when they want to join the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
clubs
they can get
discount
Correct article usage
a discount
show examples
,
such
as
members
can get free 50 % if
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
use the
card
given by employers.
As a result
, they
more be healthy
Replace the word
are healthier
show examples
than
staff
not join
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
programs. After that, they have more
energy
than
employment
not
regularly
Change the word
regular
show examples
physical exercise.
On the other hand
, some
employment
Replace the word
employers
show examples
argue that spending much time. Since they must regularly
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
join the
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
center programs,
for example
, footballs and gyms.
Therefore
, they decide no join the
clubs
Change to a genitive case
club's
clubs'
show examples
members
.
Although
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
are given free to join there,
staff
think
that
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
not impact
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their occupation.
in addition
, they could be spending much more
energy
to do sports. when they play futsal,
staff
Add an article
the staff
show examples
becomes exhausted because it spent
energy
.
Consequently
, after joining
clubs
and gym programs; they will not focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
work
To sum up
, most
staff
are helped
card
members
by
company
which is support their healthy. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
they will focus
to do
Change preposition
on doing
show examples
their work.
Nevertheless
, other
employment
Replace the word
employees
show examples
think that it
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
not impact
performance
Correct article usage
the performance
show examples
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
jobs because it can
spend many
Verb problem
take a lot of
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
and
energy
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which is good practice for essay writing.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges the importance of health and well-being for employees.

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