Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sport clubs, believe that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other employees find no benefit doing so. Discuss both views.
Most
staff
officer
Change to a plural noun
officers
are
given by Change the verb form
is
company
the facilities Correct article usage
the company
Change preposition
for sport
sport
Change the noun form
sports
clubs
and also
they got
Wrong verb form
get
card
membership to join gyms, that
is
would Unnecessary verb
apply
be
their Verb problem
make
staff
more well beings and focus
at Replace the word
focused
a
work. Correct article usage
apply
Nevertheless
, other employees argue that
is
no benefit from them. Because health is pivotal for Correct pronoun usage
there is
staff
members
, same
Add an article
the same
company
gives membership for their employment
to follow Replace the word
employees
sport club
Fix the agreement mistake
sports clubs
likewise
soccer and gym. Other staff
think that is
not effectively
because it is spending many Change the word
effective
times
and Fix the agreement mistake
time
energy
. This
essay will discuss both of
Change preposition
apply
view
.
On the one hand, some Fix the agreement mistake
views
staff
officer
have Fix the agreement mistake
officers
opinion
joining Correct article usage
the opinion
soccer
club Correct article usage
a soccer
make
more Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
healthy
. Replace the word
healthier
However
, they will burn their calories which are not outstanding for their well being
. For Add a hyphen
well-being
the
reason, why the Correct determiner usage
this
company
help them to give card
members
when they want to join the sport
Change the noun form
sports
clubs
they can get discount
, Correct article usage
a discount
such
as members
can get free 50 % if the
use the Correct your spelling
they
card
given by employers. As a result
, they more be healthy
than Replace the word
are healthier
staff
not join sport
programs. After that, they have more Change the noun form
sports
energy
than employment
not regularly
physical exercise.
Change the word
regular
On the other hand
, some employment
argue that spending much time. Since they must regularly Replace the word
employers
to
join the Fix the infinitive
apply
sport
center programs, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
for example
, footballs and gyms. Therefore
, they decide no join the clubs
Change to a genitive case
club's
clubs'
members
. Although
company
are given free to join there, Fix the agreement mistake
companies
staff
think that
is
not impact Verb problem
does
for
their occupation. Change preposition
apply
in addition
, they could be spending much more energy
to do sports. when they play futsal, staff
becomes exhausted because it spent Add an article
the staff
energy
. Consequently
, after joining clubs
and gym programs; they will not focus to
work
Change preposition
on
To sum up
, most staff
are helped card
members
by company
which is support their healthy. After that
they will focus Add a comma
that,
to do
their work. Change preposition
on doing
Nevertheless
, other employment
think that it Replace the word
employees
is
not impact Verb problem
does
performance
Correct article usage
the performance
their
jobs because it can Change preposition
of their
spend many
Verb problem
take a lot of
times
and Fix the agreement mistake
time
energy
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which is good practice for essay writing.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges the importance of health and well-being for employees.