IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The cost of international travel is decreasing,and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The cost of travelling around the world is declining,
also
Linking Words
 tourists number
are
Verb problem
of tourists is
show examples
 increasing in many
countries
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss two benefits and two drawbacks of the rising
trend
Use synonyms
 of tourists. On one hand, the
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
trend
Use synonyms
 of tourism played a fundamental role in cultural exchange between communities. When people travel around the world they expand their knowledge about other cultures
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
increase their interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 exploration and benefit from communicating with others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it had a major role in the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 development
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both the private and governmental sectors.
For example
Linking Words
,
countries
Use synonyms
 like United Arab
Emerities
Correct your spelling
Emirates
, had more than 1 million visitors during the
last
Linking Words
 year , which led to tremendous economical growth.
While
Linking Words
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 had
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 downside as well.
For instance
Linking Words
, it led to more traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 in cities and
waitings
Correct your spelling
waiting
show examples
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bringing the negative effect of these cars on the environment leading to climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
putted
Correct your spelling
put
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great pressure on the government because , of
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact that these
countries
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 targeted by terrorist attacks in order to destroy their economy.
terrorist
Replace the word
Terrorists
show examples
 tend to choose crowded
area's
Correct your spelling
areas
show examples
 to harm as many people as possible. In conclusion , the low cost of travelling led to more tourists around the globe bringing good things like exchanging cultures and raising the economy.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 these
countries
Use synonyms
 have
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 a target for
threatens
Replace the word
threats
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism. However, aim for more detailed examples to enhance the points made.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples. Avoid general statements and ensure each main idea is fully developed.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the structure of the essay.
complete response
The essay discusses two benefits and two drawbacks, as required by the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: