Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today's society,
competition
among people
is a more common activity. Some people
believe that competition
in society is a beneficial activity. While
others think, that individuals try to engage with each other. In this
essay, I will discuss both views to gain appropriate knowledge and I will support my opinions with concrete examples.
On the one hand, healthy
way of Correct article usage
a healthy
competition
improve
the Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
work
speed limit. To illustrate in corporate companies most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
are
Wrong verb form
compete
competing
their Add the preposition
competing for
work
with their colleagues. Moreover
, it helps complete
their Correct pronoun usage
them complete
work
on time. For example
, there was a recent interview given by Usain Bolt he said that he still has a competition
habit with his opponent. Replace the word
competitive
Additionally
, people
can achieve their goals when they start to compete with others. In other words
, when the competition
starts they automatically increase their energy to success
Replace the word
succeed
on
the particular event. Change preposition
in
Therefore
, people
need competition
in their life
to achieve their goals.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
On the other hand
, when people
try to cooperate more it leads to build
a good Change the verb form
building
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
among
their Change preposition
with
surrounding
. In brief, a good relationship Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
need
Change the verb form
needs
a
cooperation and patience and Remove the article
apply
also
it helps to keep their mind happy and stress relief. For instance
, the recent news on BBC was that Apple company combined with Nike to sell their products and this
idea increased their sales as well. Thus
, trying to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other helps to keep their life happy and peaceful.
In conclusion, cooperating more with people
leads to build
good relationships, Wrong verb form
building
while
the benefits of competition
at work
improve work
speed and achieve their goal
. Fix the agreement mistake
goals
Therefore
, I strongly believe that competition
among people
would improve their skills.Submitted by shruthiudhai7 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs for better readability. Consider using more linking words and phrases to smoothly transition from one idea to another.
task achievement
Expand on each of your points with more depth and detail. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. For example, you might delve deeper into why competition increases productivity or how cooperation can lead to happiness.
general
Try to use specific, varied, and appropriate vocabulary and sentence structures. This will enrich your writing and improve overall clarity. Avoid repetitive phrases and expressions.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
Relevant examples that support the main points effectively. This enhances the argument and makes it more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a balanced discussion, which satisfies the task requirements.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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