Some people believe that universities should only recruit young people with good school grades. Others believe that everyone should be given a chance regardless their age and school marks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The importance of grading which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming it is beneficial
while
others oppose
this
notion. A majority of society favours that getting admission will depend on the school
grades
,
while
the substantial influence of
this
trend has sparked controversy over recent years. The following paragraph will highlight my perspective and
thus
lead to a logical conclusion. On the one hand, the first and foremost reason behind
this
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
universities are academically rigorous environments where every student
requires
Wrong verb form
is required
show examples
to establish the building blocks of their life.
However
, higher education should be accessible to all as it promotes lifelong learning at any age
Furthermore
, Student poor
grades
do not reflect the capability of the child because people develop at different rates so
that is
why
Correct article usage
a person
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person
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person's
show examples
potential capability is never judged by their scores. In a Publisher article, the result of a survey was written about a successful person, he said "I am not a first bencher and never received good
grades
in schools but now I am the CEO of Google". Probing ahead, public institutions have a huge merit list, and many students are enabled to take
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
admission because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
limited seats in it. Moving ahead, young people are in
prime
Add an article
the prime
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of their
enegertic
Correct your spelling
energetic
abilities, which can contribute to
be
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being
show examples
more vibrant and dynamic in the university community. In the higher
educational
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education
show examples
sector, there are GPA systems which is difficult to maintain because many of the institutions require learning the exact things and not working in the learning system
as well as
lack
of
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apply
show examples
practical work. Apart from the reasons mentioned above
iuit
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it
can be
clearlt
Correct your spelling
clearly
stated why
i
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I
show examples
am against in favour of
this
trend.
To sum up
,
acoording
Correct your spelling
according
to
arguments
Correct article usage
the arguments
show examples
aformentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
above that gaining
knowedge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
is for
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
and it does not depend on their age or
grades
in their previous school.
Although
the problem can be solved in the short term, there are concrete steps to reduce the effect of having on the current society.
Submitted by alviusman18 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While you discussed both views, your position on the issue was not clearly articulated.
task response
Your ideas need to be more clearly and precisely expressed. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you do not mix multiple points into a single paragraph.
task response
Work on providing better support for your main points. The example mentioned in the essay could be detailed better to clearly show its relevance.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Your essay should have a clear progression from one idea to the next. Use linking words and phrases effectively to help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be more aligned with the main body of your essay. Ensure that they fully reflect the content discussed in your body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that your each of your main points is well-supported and explains its relevance clearly. Avoid having too many ideas crammed into a single paragraph.
task response
Your essay covers both viewpoints, which shows an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a good guideline to follow.
task response
You attempted to provide examples, which helps to illustrate your points and can make your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academically rigorous
  • foundational knowledge
  • likelihood of academic success
  • adaptability
  • limited university resources
  • proven academic capabilities
  • cognitive abilities
  • dynamic and vibrant community
  • lifelong learning
  • inclusive education
  • develop at different rates
  • potential and capability
  • diverse perspectives
  • enriching the learning environment
  • equal opportunity
  • social inequalities
  • personal growth
  • professional advancement
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