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Band 5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
Experimentation on
animals
 continues to be a controversial topic in modern society and there are opposite points of view, that now I will present. On the one hand, some people believe that
animals
 should not be used as caves and ask for laws to abolish
this
 practice.
According to
 them,
animals
 are living
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
 as humans and so they feel pain and fear. The experiments conducted on them may cause health problems and sometimes
also
 lead to death. Animalists argue that humans have no
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to kill
animals
.
Furthermore
, some research projects
last
Correct word choice
in the recent
show examples
 years and
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to the death of a huge number of
animals
. These deaths may
also
 cause problems in some species, changing the environment's equilibrium.
On the other hand
, others think that there are many reasons
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct word choice
why
show examples
 it is fundamental to do
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
 on
animals
.
Firstly
, they suggest that many scientific discoveries came from that type of
tests
Fix the agreement mistake
test
show examples
 over
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 years.
For example
, without these
experiments
Add a comma
experiments,
show examples
 there would not be vaccines and other important medical treatments. In fact, it is impossible to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
develop a treatment without testing it.
Moreover
, some
animals
' anatomy is similar to
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
humans'
Change preposition
of humans'
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and scientists are able to understand how
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine works on the body by watching them. Personally, I feel that the possible benefits of that practice overcome all the clear disadvantages. Without
experiments
Add a comma
experiments,
show examples
 there will not be medical development in the future and some serious illness and pathology that affect a lot of people nowadays will never be solved.
Submitted by ballotta.sofi on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring the progression of ideas is smoother. Consider using more linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Present more detailed and relevant specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Make sure examples directly support your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, giving the essay a complete structure.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task well, discussing both views and presenting a personal opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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