IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

#population #people #focus #gm #foods
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focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
 on
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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? .
Change the punctuation
?
.
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 Some
people
 support
this
 idea strongly.Other
people
 are against it totally. Both points of view will be discussed. I have my own point of view dealing with the topic. Some
people
 support the idea for many reasons. First,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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food
 is very important
for
Change preposition
in
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 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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,so we should
producing
Change the form of the verb
produce
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 more
food
 .Second,the
food
give
Change the verb form
gives
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people
 a high power,and it's good for our muscles.
In addition
, they should
making
Change the verb form
make
be making
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 more producing foods,because it's have more calcium and
vitamin
Fix the agreement mistake
vitamins
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 to help
people
 live in
Correct article usage
the futur
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futur
Correct your spelling
future
.Third,the
people
 in the
country
 they cam more than past so we could make more producing to eat all of them.
Besides
 ,the
food
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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 only for humans
its
Correct your spelling
it is
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also
 for the animals and plants or trees. Other
people
are
Verb problem
do
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 not with reasons.
Firstly
, it's
maket
Correct your spelling
market
 fat
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and lazy
people
.
Furthermore
 , They will
broking
Verb problem
break
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 the brain.
Thirdly
,
some
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 times
country
focus
Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unhealthy
food
,so
this
 will
maket
Correct your spelling
make
people
 not strong.
Secondly
,maybe will see the
food
 in the street , and will be more polluted in the
country
.
Also
, the
people
 and animals will
feeling not
Verb problem
feel
show examples
 healthy and bad mood.
moreover
 , all products in the
country
 will be high prices. I support the first opinion for many reasons. It is more practical and logical. As I see it, it is more useful and effective. Actually, I do agree with it strongly .
Submitted by alaradi22 on

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task achievement
The essay provides both sides of the argument, which shows an attempt to address the prompt fully.
task achievement
The conclusion clearly states your personal opinion, which is a crucial part of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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