Some people believe school children should help to create rules their schools. Other say teacher alone should decide what the rules are. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an argument says that the
rules
in
school
should be provided by
teachers
,
while
others say that
students
must
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
with
teachers
to create the
school
rules
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the idea that
students
joining
Wrong verb form
join
show examples
with
teachers
to create their own
rules
is justifiable, I believe that the principle
rules
should come from
teachers
, which help children easily to adapt themselves in real
life
. On the one hand, the
rules
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
created by
students
lead them to feel inclusive and create more bonding between
teachers
and
students
.
Students
who establish the
rules
tend to strictly follow
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, which
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
to the positive learning
evironment
Correct your spelling
environment
. In fact, the
students
tend to encourage each other to follow the
rules
made by themselves to show how they
Add a missing verb
are respecful
show examples
respecful
Correct your spelling
respectful
and feel inclusive.
Moreover
, allowing
students
to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
in
school
rules
would lead to an increasing level of happiness among the parents. The parents would be impressed and enjoy
looking
Verb problem
seeing
show examples
their children have their own responsibility in
school
and would apply it to their own home.
On the other hand
, there are several benefits for
students
if the
rules
create
Wrong verb form
are created
show examples
only
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
teachers
. The principle
rules
must be generated by
teachers
to ensure an
efficientcy
Correct your spelling
efficient
efficiency
teaching system. The
teachers
should evaluate their own
students
to
conduct
Verb problem
follow
show examples
the
rules
, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
them to better educational
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
.
In addition
,
Students
must learn to behave well under the
rules
, which is crucial for their real
life
when growing up. There are several
rule
Change to a plural noun
rules
show examples
from
school
that
related
Wrong verb form
relate
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
adult
life
's
rules
from the ministries.
Hence
, learning to follow the
rules
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
age
wold
Correct your spelling
would
show examples
help
students
to apply
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
to several circumstances in the real world.
To conclude
, some would
said
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that
school
rules
should allow
students
to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
with, but I believe that
school
rules
must
crate
Wrong verb form
be created
show examples
bu
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
teachers
, who have more
expreriences
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
, and it would help
students
understand
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
situations.
Submitted by warattayafinn on

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines both perspectives and states your opinion. However, there are several grammatical errors and typos that slightly reduce clarity. Proofreading your work can help avoid these issues.
coherence cohesion
While the essay logically progresses from one point to another, some ideas could be better connected to improve flow. Make sure to use more transitional phrases to link your ideas, enhancing the essay's coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and make them more specific. Adding detailed, relevant examples will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, contributing to a strong closing.
coherence cohesion
You present a balanced discussion, which shows your understanding of both perspectives and reflects a nuanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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