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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar chart provides information about the percentages of
people
Use synonyms
 who used 3 types of media in 5 different age groups in 2021.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 have used the radio in order to get news,
while
Linking Words
 microblogging remained unpopular in all ages. Looking at the details, social networks contributed four-fifths of
people
Use synonyms
 aged between 10 and 17.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 broadcast accounted for half of social site usage, microblogging forms for only a quarter of it. Among the
people
Use synonyms
 aged between 18 and 29, the radio ranked
first,
Linking Words
but they
also
Linking Words
 exploited social media a lot. At the same time usage of blogging formed one quarter. The figures for individuals aged 40 and 55 were similar, accounting for just over 90%.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 45% and 25% of the former were responsible for online networks and blogging, the latter’s contributions
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them were roughly one quarter and about 10% respectively. As regards
people
Use synonyms
 aged more than 65 years, a small minority use social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and blogging;
however
Linking Words
, broadcast usage
consist
Wrong verb form
consisted
show examples
 of almost 90% in 2021.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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