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Band 5.5

Overpopulation is the world's most serious environmental problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#overpopulation #world
A variety of animal and plant species impact the balanced
ecosystem
, which is one of the most important parts of our global that provides many benefits for us. Climate change, contaminated water, and disasters are the main causes that affect the
number
 of nature. Environmental issues have various causes that happen from human activities. Some groups state that the increase in population is the most significant cause of
ecosystem
 issues. In
this
 essay will mention my agreement and the reasons.
Firstly
, important factors for
people
 that make our life more convenient are the main reasons that damage the environment.
For instance
, transportation, agriculture, and industry produce bad pollution and dangerous chemicals that can harm wildlife and crops.
On the other hand
, lacking all these parts,
people
’s lifestyles will be more difficult, and impossible to run our society. The increasing of new generations commonly creates more bad actions.
As a result
, environmental problems
also
 be produced continuously. So, if the
number
 of new
people
 decreases, our world’s
ecosystem
 will become better and better, reducing emissions of greenhouse gases.
Consequently
, the extinction of wild animals and plant diversity will be protected, and our planet will be more balanced. For the solution, the government should take action to control the
number
 of
people
.
For example
, educating children and adults to understand natural conditions and the drawbacks of overpopulation,
this
 way can encourage
people
 to
concerned
Add a missing verb
be concerned
show examples
 and control the
number
 of family members. In conclusion, overpopulation is the most significant factor in environmental problems. Because human actions create much damage to the
ecosystem
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 the
number
 of trees and animals.
For
this
 reason, we need to
Add a missing verb
be concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 about population growth and
ecosystem
 issues.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it logically follows from the previous one. This can be improved by using transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on how transportation, agriculture, and industry create environmental damage. This will help in making your points clearer and more detailed.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring the response clearly.
task achievement
The reasons provided for the impact of overpopulation on the environment align well with the task prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exacerbating
  • finite resources
  • environmental degradation
  • biodiversity
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable consumption
  • habitat loss
  • family planning
  • renewable energy
  • technological advancements
  • resource management
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