One of the challenges faced by international students is studying in Australia. Write a paragraph about some of the difficulties facing international students when they study in an Australian environment, based on your own experience and the experiences of other students in the class.
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Many overseas students in Australia are facing challenges
while
they are studying, related to their languages and cultures. First,
language issues are a common problem among the students. One of them is finding a new home, such
as an apartment, unit, or house for rent. It could be difficult for them. The process starts with apps for rent, and houses, and many should have good reading skills to present an impressive application, ending with reading long residential contracts to accept the offer. In addition
, many students have a different background from the Australians, which might cause them culture shock. This
leads to several health disorders, such
as anxiety and depression. In conclusion, problems such
as communication or culture shock need to be taken more seriously.Submitted by mmlohibi on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic and covers relevant points, offering more specific examples or personal anecdotes could enrich the response. For instance, you could mention a particular instance where you or a fellow student faced language difficulty in finding a residence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, ensuring each point is more thoroughly developed will create a more cohesive and coherent response. For example, elaborating on how cultural differences lead to health issues would strengthen the paragraph.
task achievement
The essay covers crucial difficulties faced by international students, such as language barriers and cultural differences, which are relevant and important points.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical and easy to follow, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite