IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing high speed railway lines for inter-city travel. Others believe this money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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When it comes to
allocate
Change the verb form
allocating
show examples
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 for transportation, the debate between spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
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railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
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 versus
on
Change preposition
apply
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improving existing public transport is a prominent one.
This
Linking Words
 approach has both positive and negative
implication
Fix the agreement mistake
implications
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 essay discusses both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
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 before giving
final
Add an article
a final
show examples
 opinion. To embark, regarding
first
Change the article
the first
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 approach of spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
 rail
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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,
this
Linking Words
 way of allocating
money
Use synonyms
 helps in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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better transport and enhanced economy.
In other words
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will enable us with high
unparalled
Correct your spelling
unparalleled
 speed, which basically reduces the travel
time
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 enhances the business transaction like decreasing
frieght
Correct your spelling
freight
 service
time
Use synonyms
 so that transfer of material becomes more convenient.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 way of spending is
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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Use synonyms
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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 and sometimes takes many years or even
decade
Fix the agreement mistake
decades
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 to build.
This
Linking Words
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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 huge inconvenience to
local
Add an article
the local
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 population.
For instance
Linking Words
, during
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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 of
Correct article usage
the delhi
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delhi
Change the capitalization
Delhi
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 metro, huge chunks of
population
Add an article
the population
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 had to go through
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of difficulties
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
 travelling here and there.
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spending
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
already
Correct article usage
the already
show examples
 existing
mode
Fix the agreement mistake
modes
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 of transport is
also
Linking Words
 good as it
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 less
time
Use synonyms
 to upgrade and people
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to suffer less.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 service is applicable in every nook and corner of the city where the
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
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 trains cannot reach. But it has its own demerits like it can cause huge
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 pollution and huge depletion of resources.
Also
Linking Words
, it needs
Use synonyms
time to
Add a hyphen
time-to-time
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time
Use synonyms
 renovation services
for extracting
Change preposition
to extract
show examples
 maximum output from it. In conclusion, there are both positive and negative
implication
Fix the agreement mistake
implications
show examples
 associated with the thesis statement. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is good that we have a faster way of communication but it has to be made if
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
 persists that means it totally depends on the necessity of any city.

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task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on examples to make them more relevant and specific. This helps in clearly illustrating your points.
language
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar for better clarity. There are several grammatical errors that can be avoided.
coherence cohesion
Create more clear and distinct paragraphs to better structure your essay. This helps in maintaining a logical flow.
task achievement
The introduction covers both sides of the argument, which sets a solid foundation for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the points made in the essay, providing a balanced viewpoint.
task achievement
You have managed to cover both perspectives on the topic, providing a balanced discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • high-speed rail
  • inter-city travel
  • economic growth
  • environmentally friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • reliability
  • service frequency
  • cost-effective
  • initial investment
  • accessibility
  • underserved areas
  • regional needs
  • budget constraints
What to do next:
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