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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people make friends through social sites and chat rooms. Others believe that it is not a good idea to make friends without meeting them face to face. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and relevant examples.

#people #friends #sites #chat #rooms #idea #face
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In
technological
Add an article
the technological
a technological
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 era, the internet is deeply interwoven into our everyday lives. More and more
people
 are using social media to share their work and even make
friendships
.
However
, some
people
 are against making friends through social media. From my
stands
Fix the agreement mistake
stand
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point
Verb problem
apply
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, building new relationships online,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 the network of friends bigger.
That the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 social platforms have made it much easier to connect with others,
is
Correct pronoun usage
which is
show examples
 the main reason we can create a way larger circle of friends. For many
people
, the prospect of reaching out to
people
 in person can be a daunting task. Through the sites, it is possible to find like-minded
people
 interested in the same causes or hobbies. These online
friendships
 can help us achieve our goals, whether
that is
 through sharing resources, offering advice, or providing a listening ear.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social networks can lead to offline connections and even real-life
friendships
. Some
people
 opine that it is dangerous to socialize with strangers on the internet
due to
 adulterated content. The internet is flooded with bots and fake profiles. These profiles often collect information from other users by using someone else's identity. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, humans may have their information leaked and being abused by the frauds whose
realselves
Correct your spelling
real selves
 were concealed.
However
, identity theft and fraudulent claims are crimes in most countries and most of these profiles are usually taken down by governments. In conclusion,
although
 there are some
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 with trusting online users, we can create meaningful lifelong
friendships
 through chat rooms and be more sociable.
Submitted by ronakdorrii on

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task achievement
While your essay provides a clear standpoint and supporting arguments, you should elaborate more on your points with specific examples to make your argument stronger. For instance, you could discuss a personal experience or a widely known case study related to online friendships.
coherence cohesion
To enhance your coherence and cohesion, use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments. This will help to create a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, dividing your essay into clearer paragraphs might help present your thoughts in a more organized manner.
general
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly affect the clarity of your message. Proofreading your work for these issues or using grammar-checking tools can help to polish your essay.
task achievement
You have a strong and clear introduction that sets up your argument well.
task achievement
You've addressed the prompt effectively by providing both sides of the argument before presenting your own view, showing a balanced consideration.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, and you use appropriate transitions between ideas, which aids the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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