The table below gives information about the employment rates and the average annual salaries of new graduates in an Australian university in 2009. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the employment rates and the average annual salaries of new graduates in an Australian university in 2009. Summaries  the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.
The table gives data about the percentage of
employment
rate
and average annual salaries of new graduates in an Australian university in the period of 2009.
Overall
, what stands out from the table is that the maximum
employment
rate
was in the area of study in health,
however
, average annual salaries were the second lowest. Looking at the details, science background student was 62% of their
employment
rate
, which was minimal,
while
was a very small number. The
employment
rate
was 72% who attained a degree from the arts and social science department and the average annual salary
rate
was higher than science department. Turning to the business department students their
employment
rate
was 78%, which took the second position in
this
table,
whereas
the average annual salary was $52,000. Both law and engineering and IT students revealed the same salary of $59,000, which picked top,
while
their
employment
rates were nearly close.
Submitted by belmontsy01 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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