It is commonly said that today's children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.

In these
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These
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days
children
face challenges in their lives in different ways, in
this
essay, we will discuss two main challenges and provide some solutions for them
it
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that
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can help. First of all, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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the main reason for the challenges they have is
Internet
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the Internet
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or social media,
this
generation
are
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is
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smart and depends on technology and it's a good thing.
however
, using social media without
parent's
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the parent's
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control may let the child use it in the wrong way.
For example
, they spend a lot of time using the phone in
an unuseful channels
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an unuseful channel
unuseful channels
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or some of the ideas can affect the child's mind,
in addition
, they easily can be
addicited
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addicted
to it and may try something not good for their age.
however
, the parents should control the usage
for
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of
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the
children
and make sure they use it equally. So, learn and enjoy at the same time.
Secondly
, the other main challenge that can affect them is parental pressure. For more explanation, some parents want their kids to be the ideal child and compare them with other
children
.
Morever
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Moreover
, The parents should understand that the
children
are
differents
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different
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and everyone has
thier
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their
own thoughts and
strength
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strengths
show examples
in different areas. So we have to make them confident and not push them. In Conclusion, these generations will have a successful future and we have to support them and let them choose what they want because life has changed and it will change in the future, it is not
necssary
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necessary
to live like the way we live.
Submitted by hadeelalnemari on

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task achievement
The essay should provide more relevant and specific examples to illustrate the points being made. This would help to further strengthen the arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Some sentence structures and word choices can be improved for better clarity and more formal tone. For instance, instead of 'unuseful channels,' you could use 'unproductive content' or 'inappropriate channels.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting details are logically connected. Transitions between paragraphs could also be smoother to enhance the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and sets the stage for the discussion of challenges and solutions.
supported main points
The essay recognizes two distinct challenges faced by children today and attempts to provide solutions for them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • burden
  • strain
  • competition
  • expectations
  • demands
  • challenges
  • academic pressure
  • social influences
  • peer pressure
  • expectations
  • competition
  • recreational activities
  • playtime
  • achievement
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