Write about the following topic: The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Over the ten years, western societies have seen close to 20% rise in the number of
children
who are overweight. This
essay will discuss some reasons why this
has occured
and examine the consequences of Correct your spelling
occurred
this
worrying trend.
The main cause of this
problem is increased
consumption of processed Correct article usage
the increased
foods
. Many children
consume hight
Correct your spelling
high
colorie
, Correct your spelling
calorie
low nutrient
Add a hyphen
low-nutrient
foods
like sugary snacks, fast food and sodas. these foods
are often cheaper and more readily available. When children
consume these foods
have negative impacts to
health . Overweight Change preposition
on
children
are at higher risk for developing conditions such
as type 2 diabetes, hypertension, hight
Correct your spelling
high
cholestrol
, and sleep apnea. Correct your spelling
cholesterol
for
example, many Capitalize word
For
children
now spend a significant amount of time on screens, which reduces their time for physical activity. Sedentary behaviours are assoiciated
with lower energy expenditure and can contribute to weight Correct your spelling
associated
again
.
Despite these arguments, there is another factor of socioeconomic. Families with lower income may face barriers to accessing healthy Correct your spelling
gain
foods
and creational
activities. For Correct your spelling
recreational
instanse
, the Correct your spelling
instance
long term
health effects of obesity can lead to increased healthcare costs for families and the healthcare system.
Add a hyphen
long-term
To sum up
, it is evident that there are several causes of obesity amoungst
Correct your spelling
among
children
,
and a Remove the comma
apply
varity
of negative effects. Society must ensure steps are taken to prevent Correct your spelling
variety
this
problem from deterioating
Correct your spelling
deteriorating
further
.Submitted by elbayevazamat on
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grammar
Ensure consistency in spelling and grammar. For example, correct typographical errors like 'hight' to 'high', 'assoiciated' to 'associated', 'instanse' to 'instance', and 'detieroating' to 'deteriorating'.
development
Develop each idea further and provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For example, when discussing sedentary behavior, you could add specific statistics or studies to solidify your point.
sentence structure
Improve on sentence structuring to enhance flow. Some sentences are fragmented and can be combined for better clarity. For example, 'When children consume these foods have negative impacts to health.' could be rewritten to 'When children consume these foods, it negatively impacts their health.'
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure.
task response
The essay addresses both causes and effects, ensuring a holistic response to the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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