IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features.
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The given linear process diagram illustrates about life stages of an enormous water-living
fish
Use synonyms
 called the Salmon from being salmon eggs to the growing period.
Initially
Linking Words
, Female
fish
Use synonyms
, which is laid eggs below the reeds. Eggs have been at 5 to 6 months under the tiny stones.
Hence
Linking Words
, It
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 called "Fry" at 3 to 8cm.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, six months later, they are grown as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
fish
Use synonyms
. that named by "Smolt"
furthermore
Linking Words
 it would
incread
Correct your spelling
increase
increased
 between 12 and 15cm.
while
Linking Words
 they are
being lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in the fast-flowing river. that was called "Smolt".
moreover
Linking Words
, the size measured at 12 to 15cm. Once
this
Linking Words
 completed, Adult Salmon was lived Open Sea for Five years. At
this
Linking Words
 time It has been at 70 to 76cm.
consequently
Linking Words
fish
Use synonyms
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
marvellous throughout the living period.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, cm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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