Cultures around the world are becoming more similar that ever before. Why is this happening? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, around the
world
, cultures
resemble more to each other. I believe that this
matter could be facilitated by globalization
, and could lead to negative consequences; However
, the reasons will be mentioned in
below.
To commence with, Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
globalization
has affected the world
drastically. This
matter has changed the common language in media, applications, and information all around the world
to English. Today, English is the prominent language, and consequently
, has changed the globe’s culture in its favor
. Change the spelling
favour
For instance
, before globalization
, in my country, people were not familiar with the
western Correct article usage
apply
cultures
and traditions
like Christmas or Halloween. In contrast
, now, individuals celebrate these ceremonies due to
their acquaintance with different traditions
instead
of their own traditional days.
On the other hand
, the
Correct article usage
apply
globalization
can cause detrimental consequences. These issues are addressed by changing nations’ propensity from their traditions
and cultures
to the
foreign options. Correct article usage
apply
Consequently
, the national ceremonies have been ignored, and the diversity of the world
, which is the beauty of that, has been evade. For example
, in Iran, there are historic gratification days based on Iranian ancient history like Sadeh
celebration; Correct article usage
the Sadeh
whereas
, this
day has forgotten
, and Add a missing verb
been forgotten
it
is replaced by Easter which is a Correct pronoun usage
apply
western
tradition.
In a nutshell, Capitalize word
Western
globalization
has increased the unity of the world
. Consequently
, people’s acts has
become more similar to each other. Change the verb form
have
Also
, this
resemblance could affect the world
cultural diversity negatively through the erosion of diverse Change noun form
world's
cultures
, rituals, and traditions
all around the globe.Submitted by aksoysana on
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task achievement
Your essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas. For instance, instead of just saying that people now celebrate Western ceremonies, you could describe specific ways in which these celebrations are carried out in your country.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are balanced. While you stressed the negative consequences of globalization, it would also be beneficial to acknowledge any positive elements briefly to present a well-rounded argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure all your points are linked with clear and varied transitional phrases and words. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are strong, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next point. This will help strengthen the overall structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and summarize your key points effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively and provided a clear position with convincing arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.