The table shows data about the average income for one person in dollars, across two different age groups: under 18 and over 60, as well as the percentage of the poor population in three states in the US, namely California, Utah, and Florida

#data #income #person #dollars #two #age #groups #percentage #population #three #states #california #utah #florida

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The presented table demonstrates data about the two groups of people who have different ages average incomes and the number of poor populations in 3 various states in America.

Overall

Linking Words

, It is important that

all

Change preposition

for all

show examples

of them except

Florida

Use synonyms

the figure for young generations is more than old ones;

moreover

Linking Words

Utal

Correct your spelling

Utah

, which has the lowest income, has fewer changes in the poor line than others.

According to

Linking Words

the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

for people who have less than 18 years old the main area is Utal by 28%;

then

Linking Words

Florida

Use synonyms

and

California

Use synonyms

nearly have the same percentage, a small portion,

while

Linking Words

for elderly people the proportion is reverse of the

last

Linking Words

item, so

Florida

Use synonyms

by 23% has the first level;

thereafter

Linking Words

California

Use synonyms

and Utal respectively are 13 and 8

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

. The chart shows average income of

Florida

Use synonyms

and

California

Use synonyms

is roughly the same as each

other

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, but

California

Use synonyms

is 1000 more than 23,000;

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Utal

Change preposition

apply

show examples

17,000 is the

last

Linking Words

one.

In addition

Linking Words

, the fashion of communities, who are under

poverty

Add an article

the poverty

show examples

line, has a trend like the prior;

as a result

Linking Words

, the initial is

California

Use synonyms

by 16% after that,

Florida

Use synonyms

has 4% less than the previous;

furthermore

Linking Words

finally

Linking Words

Utal

Correct your spelling

Utah

by 9%.

Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on Wed Aug 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, last".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words florida, california with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

200 words

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The table shows data about the average income for one person in dollars, across two different age groups: under 18 and over 60, as well as the percentage of the poor population in three states in the US, namely California, Utah, and Florida

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing numbers of species come under threat. what can be done to maintain biodiversity?

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: Give details of your study plans Explain why you want to get a part-time job

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative

n some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?