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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The supplied table indicates how many
workers
Use synonyms
 and
factories
Use synonyms
 were there in the UK and
Wales
Use synonyms
 between 1851 and 1901. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
employees
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 in 1851.
However
Linking Words
,people were not employed in 1901 which was the fewest
number
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 over the period. In 1851,the
number
Use synonyms
 of
men
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 was 287,100 in the UK and
Wales
Use synonyms
,compared to women who were 190,000.(Which was the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 over the period).
Moreover
Linking Words
,precisely 721
factories
Use synonyms
 were constructed in 1881.(Which was the highest percentage of
factories
Use synonyms
 over the whole year).
In addition
Linking Words
,the percentage of male
employees
Use synonyms
 in England and
Wales
Use synonyms
 was 80,123,just ahead of the
number
Use synonyms
 of female
workers
Use synonyms
 at 60,000 in 1871.
In contrast
Linking Words
,the
number
Use synonyms
 of male
workers
Use synonyms
 in the United Kingdom and
Wales
Use synonyms
 was a bit more than female
workers
Use synonyms
 in 1901 at 31,000 and 30,000,
resperctively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.(Which was the
fewest
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
employees
Use synonyms
 over the period).
Similarly
Linking Words
,the percentage of
factories
Use synonyms
 was 225 in England and
Wales
Use synonyms
 in 1851.(Which was the least
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 over the total year).

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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, factories, wales, number, employees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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