In many coutries, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after the birth of the new born. Do you think the advantages of maternity leave outweight the disadvantages?

#coutries #women #maternity #first #month #birth #outweight

In several countries, a lot of companies give permission to female

employees

to take

maternity

leave in the first month after giving birth to their baby. In

this

essay, I will explain why I think

this

idea is totally advantageous. On the one hand, it has a beneficial impact on

woman's

Correct article usage

a woman's

show examples

body. Giving birth is a totally life-changing experience that can make

woman's

Correct article usage

a woman's

show examples

body exhausted and traumatized, If

woman

Correct article usage

a woman

show examples

forced

Add a missing verb

is forced

show examples

work

after

experienced

Change the form of the verb

experiencing

show examples

such

a big event, it will be no good for them.

Maternity

leave gives them the time to maintain the stress level to normal.

Also

, it will make them

refresh

Wrong verb form

refreshed

show examples

and

energize

Wrong verb form

energised

show examples

work

later.

Furthermore

Add a comma

Furthermore,

show examples

the

employees

also

feel appreciated, and

giving

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

their best for the

company

This

case is proved

for example

, in Meta those who

are take

Change the verb form

take

show examples

maternity

leave after the birth show the same productivity level or even higher in their

work

On the other hand

, forcing

employees

to do the

work

without any

maternity

leave will cause some troubles and side effects for the

employees

. The reason is because they do not have time to recover themselves and interact with their babies.

Furthermore

, poor mental and physical health for the

employees

will impact the

company

's productivity.

That is

why

maternity

leave is a must for women. In conclusion,

maternity

leave is a great thing for the

employees

and a great move by the

company

. It really has a lot of advantages for

company

Add an article

the company

show examples

and minimizes the harm

for

Change preposition

show examples

women.

Submitted by megyfebryanisyah on Wed Aug 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve the use of transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of the essay.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and evidence to support your main points for a stronger argument.

task achievement

The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas that contribute to a complete response to the task.

coherence cohesion

A logical structure is maintained throughout the essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.

Word Count

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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many coutries, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after the birth of the new born. Do you think the advantages of maternity leave outweight the disadvantages?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some people think residents should keep their streets clean and tidy while others say it is government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodmaking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?